


Bathed in Petals and Sugar

by TaylorMay1912



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Album: folklore (Taylor Swift), Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, Angst, Barista Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel Gets A Tattoo, Castiel Owns a Cat, Dark Past, Dean Winchester Has a Cat Allergy, Dean Winchester Likes Taylor Swift, Dean Winchester is a Sweetheart, Dean's Top 13 Zepp Traxx Mixtape, Fluff, Gen, Gentle Dean Winchester, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Minor Charlie Bradbury/Jo Harvelle, Minor Gabriel/Kali (Supernatural), Minor Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Musical References, Nervous Castiel (Supernatural), Openly Bisexual Dean Winchester, Openly Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Past Abuse, Past Castiel (Supernatural)/Other(s), Poetry, Shy Castiel (Supernatural), Tattoo Artist Dean Winchester, Tattooed Dean Winchester, Tattoos, Writer Castiel (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:49:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 34,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25855405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaylorMay1912/pseuds/TaylorMay1912
Summary: Dean Winchester thought he had it all figured out: hit on the cute barista who lives next door to him, convince the guy to get a tattoo because you only live once, and maybe even have a bit of fun with the guy.What he didn't count on was falling for the blue-eyed writer with an adventurous taste in pop music, and the ability to carve his poetry into his soul.Castiel Novak thought he had it all figured out: hit on the cute tattoo artist who lives next door to him, convince the guy to read more because it's good for the soul, and maybe even teach him about why popular music is popular in the first place.What he didn't count on was diving straight into the deep-end of feelings, and falling in love with the devil-may-care artist.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 95
Kudos: 246





	1. Sink In

**Author's Note:**

  * For [palominopup](https://archiveofourown.org/users/palominopup/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Pen and Ink](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4284762) by [palominopup](https://archiveofourown.org/users/palominopup/pseuds/palominopup). 



> This is the first fanfic that I'm openly posting on AO3. Please be kind, and please let me know if there's anything I need to keep in mind etc. I'm a big fan of Supernatural and I figure, with us all in quarantine because of COVID-19, we might as well have a bit of fun.
> 
> This fic is loosely inspired by palominopup's 'Pen and Ink' fic, and if you could please do me a massive favour and check out that fic, that would be excellent! It's so damn good!

When he found out Jess would be moving in with Sam into their parents’ old house, Dean refused to feel anything but elated for them. When he learned Sam was considering renting out the apartment above the tattoo shop, Dean took the space without a second thought.

“But, Dean,” Sam raised his eyebrows. “I thought you said you wanted a yard...somewhere quiet...somewhere, you know, further away from the business?”

“Nonsense, Sammy, besides,” He forced the grin onto his face. “This way, it’ll be easier to pick up the hotties,” Sam rolled his eyes.

“You’re all class, you know that?”

“I take offence to your tone, bitch,” Dean crossed his arms. Sam snorted.

“Jerk.”

The apartment wasn’t too bad. It was just...sorely lacking in a few areas. Like Sam pointed out, there was no yard. Even the back of the shop barely had space for a garage, where he housed his pride and joy, his late father’s 1967 Chevy Impala. The kitchen needed a deep clean, and the floors were more than a little bit dusty. But with the help of both Sam and Jess, as well as roping in their apprentice Charlie with the promise of coffee and doughnuts, the four managed to peel away the mess to reveal a well-proportioned two-bedroom apartment, complete with an ensuite bathroom, overlooking their city’s busiest street.

“This...is okay?” Charlie glanced around after clearing away the smudge on the window facing the small alleyway. “The view is pretty good, except for the fact you can see directly into the apartment next to you from your bedroom. It’s above that shitty-looking shop next door,”

“Oi, don’t knock the new place. They’ve got the greatest coffee and doughnuts I’ve ever had, and trust me I’ve had a lot. Also, full of loads and loads of books,” Dean nudged Sam, grinning. “Sure you guys don’t wanna move in here?”

“Tempting, but I like being able to separate my work life from my home life, thank you,” Sam rolled his eyes.

“Whatever. I might be able to work out a trade deal between Leviathan Tattoo and Perdition Fiction,”

“What the hell could you offer Gabriel? Free stick-on tattoos for a cup of java, or how about an eyebrow piercing?” Jess chuckled.

“Hey there’s an idea,” Dean winked. Jess blanched.

“I was kidding, you numpty,” She whacked him with the blanket she was folding away.

“What will you do if you, knock on wood, want a book? Offer a stick-and-poke?” Charlie snickered.

“That means two things,” Sam giggled. Dean groaned.

“My God, I hate you both so much. Besides, Gabriel’s cute and all, but he’s not my type,”

“You have a type?” Sam, Jess and Charlie spoke at the same time, bursting out laughing at the look of shock on Dean’s face.

“I’m not that much of a slut, am I?”

“Oh honey,” Charlie wiped away a tear. “You’re not. You just...don’t have a specific type, which is great,”

“Hold up, no, he does have a type,” Sam smirked. Dean shook his head, but Sam’s grin got wider. “Cassie Robinson,”

“Sam, fuck off, that was years ago!”

“Who’s Cassie Robinson?” Jess tilted her head, blonde waves wrapping around her neck.

“Oh, just the girl he bent over backwards trying to impress when they were in high school,” Sam dodged the flying pillow Dean sent his way. “It wasn’t to be, though. We were only in Cape Girardeau for two months before Dad had to shift for work. Dean was so cut up about it; wouldn’t come out of his room for a good week and a bit until Dad cracked it-OOF!” Dean tackled him to the floor. Jess and Charlie teamed up to pull Dean up and off Sam, who was whinging.

“For that, you’re not getting any of Gabriel’s special bacon doughnuts,” Dean pouted.

“Good, didn’t want one anyway. They’re a heart attack in a bag,” Sam pulled his iconic bitch face before turning his attention to the bedroom window. “Oh look, it seems you’ve got a neighbour,” Dean swivelled his head to see a young male now occupying the apartment across from Deans’. Dean was convinced the man stuck his fingers in an electric socket to get his dark hair to stand up like that. He seemed to be wearing the same uniform Gabriel rocks in his shop. The button-up shirt did wonders for the stranger’s physique; even from where Dean was standing, he could tell the guy was jacked. The stranger glanced around his messy bedroom before glancing down at his watch. There was a flash of panicked movement before the man rushed out the bedroom door.

“Doughnuts, anybody?” Dean let a mischievous grin paint his face. Sam sighed, and Charlie made a sucking noise with her teeth.

“My God, Dean, do you get off on other people’s suffering?” She muttered. Dean just gave her a wink.

**********

Perdition Fiction was cluttered and noisy ― and Cas hated it. He preferred it when it was the quiet early mornings where everybody only wants a coffee and muffin to go, or where people order a pot of tea and sit by themselves, typing on their laptop surrounded by books in the late afternoon. He tried not to make his cringing too obvious when he came face-to-face with his brother, who looked only slightly annoyed at Cas’s late appearance.

“Bro, I thought having you live directly above the shop would mean you wouldn’t continue to be late to work,” He tossed an apron at Cas, who caught it deftly. Cas was about to apologise, but Gabriel let out a small chuckle. “It’s fine, don’t give me those big ol’ puppy dog eyes. I’m honestly just glad you didn’t rock up drunk like Ishim,”

“Why,” Cas pulled the strands of the black apron over his head. “Do you insist on bringing up my ex every goddamn day?”

“Oh, hey now, it’s not every day. Sorry,” Gabriel exclaimed. “Struck a nerve, have we?”

“Sorry, Gabe,” Cas sighed. “He’s just been messaging me a lot recently,”

“Oh, do you want me to threaten him? Because I can,”

“Please don’t,” Cas whispered as he rinsed out the previous coffee grinds from the machine. The front door was opening and closing constantly, so Cas barely registered a group of attractive tattooed people pouring into the store. Gabriel noticed, however, and he let out a whooping catcall.

“Winchesters!” He hollered, and the two tall males shouted back greetings. The tallest of the two had shoulder-length brown highlighted hair and cheekbones that could cut a man’s skin. The shorter man had a face dusted with freckles and eyes Cas wanted to describe as candy-green. The group had approached the counter, and Gabriel was already giving the green-eyed man a flirtatious grin. “Fancy seeing you guys here. Busy Sunday, Dean-o?”

“Very, been moving into the apartment above the shop actually,” The green-eyed man turned his attention to Cas, and Cas felt his insides melt into a gelatinous substance. “Guess I’m your new neighbour, neighbour,”

“Nice to meet you, Dean,” Cas glanced at the man’s tank top, which had the emblem of a tattoo gun painting the words ‘Leviathan Tattoo and Piercing’. The guy gave Cas a winning smile and a wink. The jelly of his insides hardened and he brought his gaze away from Dean to distract himself with fixing up the coffee mugs.

“Coffee and doughnuts to go?” The taller man glanced between their group and pulled out his wallet. The two girls made noises of agreeance, but Dean hesitated.

“I was thinking we could hang around here for a bit. Don’t particularly want to head back into the apartment just yet. Might grab lunch,”

“But Dean, Jess and I’ve gotta head back home to make sure Ruby hasn’t destroyed the house, the little demon,” The tall man’s face scrunched up, putting his arm around the blonde female, presumably Jess. Dean let out a chuckle.

“Honestly, you treat that dog like she’s your child or something,” Cas noticed Gabriel perk up at the word ‘dog’.

“Oo,” He nearly threw himself over the counter. “Got any photos of Ruby, Sammy boy? I love dogs,” The tall one, Sam, gave Gabriel a wide smile.

“Sure,” He pulled out his phone and showed a photo of a border collie mix wearing a bandana around her neck. “She’s a rescue, we just got her from Alastair’s Pound. She’s incredibly needy and has taken quite a liking to me in particular, so we’ve gotta get back soon,” He glanced at the time on his phone. “Charlie, were you still wanting a lift back to your complex?”

“Did you still need a hand with stuff, Dean?” The pretty redhead rested her hand on Dean’s shoulder and squeezed it. Dean gave her a tight smile.

“No, I’ll be okay, Charlie. Gotta get used to being alone eventually,” He pulled his lips down in a faux-moping look. Charlie let out a giggle, keeping her hand on Dean’s shoulder, which made Cas burn with curiosity and something like defeat. Of course. The good ones are always either taken or straight, or even worse, both.

“You sure? I can bring Jo around and we can have a sleepover, cook some Pad Thai, watch Dirty Dancing...” Charlie trailed off as she watched Dean shake his head politely.

“No. Thank you, though. I love you, and you know I love Jo too, but honestly, she can get a bit...possessive about you,” Dean shrugged. Cas couldn't help letting out a small noise of relief, but he managed to cover it up as a small cough when Dean brought his gaze back to Cas. “Besides, I’ve got a new neighbour to chat to,” Cas looked over to see Dean giving him a smirk, and he felt his cheeks heat yet again. "What time do you get off...?" He dropped his eyes to Cas’s chest, searching for a name-tag.

“Castiel Novak,” He mumbled. “And I finish at four, unfortunately,” Dean shrugged.

“That’s fine. I’m happy to hang around, as long as you keep the coffee and the sweets coming,” He shrugged. “And if you don’t mind me pulling your favourite barista away from the counter now and then, Gabriel?”

“Who said he was my favourite?”

“Oi,” Cas crossed his arms. “Without me, you wouldn’t have those little mini pies you keep selling out of,” Dean’s entire face lit up.

“Those pies are yours?”

“Yes, and if Gabriel’s not careful, he might not get them much longer,” Gabriel held up his hands in defeat.

“To be fair, they only sell so well because your boy here is addicted to them,”

“Can’t help it,” Dean shrugged. “They’re delicious.”

Dean sat as countless rushed businessmen and women bought quick snacks and large coffees to go. Every time Cas’s bright blue eyes flashed Dean’s way, he wasn’t even coy about being caught staring. Dean just gave him a wide smile.

“Oh boy, you’ve got him going,” Gabriel murmured after Dean grinned Cas’s way the seventh time in two hours.

“He’s just being friendly,” Cas finished up putting a whole rack of vanilla slices into the counter window. Gabriel scoffed.

“Wow, no wonder you’ve only been on a few successful dates. He’s being about as subtle as a punch to the gut, and you think he’s ‘just being friendly’,”

“I don’t want to presume anything. Also, he’s probably not even into men,”

“That’s where you’re wrong there, Cassie,” Gabriel poured silked milk into a mug of coffee. “He’s bi, at least, I think. He’s been on dates here with both women and men. He’s turned me down a few times, but I kept trying,” He handed the coffee to Cas. “But trust me, if you like him, I’ll back down straight away. Go, have a break and take one of those pies to him, free of charge. Enjoy. Ask him about his tattoos,” Gabriel winked. Cas swallowed audibly, and Gabriel let out a cocky laugh. “Oh Jesus, don’t keep that up, otherwise he’ll honestly think you’re a prude or something,” Cas shot him a dark look.

“Fuck you,” He murmured. Gabriel smirked before gesturing towards the table by the window Dean was relaxing at. Cas made his way over, pasting a semi-confident smile on his face. Dean’s lips quirked up in a half-smile that shone in his eyes.

“Hey Casti- uh, you know what? I think I’m just gonna call you Cas, is that alright?” He brought his hand to his neck, letting a laugh slip from his lips. “Castiel’s just a bit...much,”

“Cas is fine. I prefer that anyway,” Cas offered the coffee. “Here’s a pie, on the house.” He couldn’t help reflecting Dean’s excited grin.

“Thanks, man,” He gestured to the seat across from him. Cas took the seat and couldn’t hold back his gasp as Dean peeled off his leather jacket. He had three tattoos on each arm; a gun twined with a ribbon inscribed with the words “Carry on my wayward son” on his left forearm, the Tree of Gondor on his left shoulder, a flying dove carrying the gun, the word ‘Family’ on his right wrist, geometric triangles on his right shoulder and a red-bellied snake wrapping around his right bicep. Dean cocked an eyebrow, and let out a low chuckle. “What, not what you were expecting?” Cas rolled his eyes.

“Yes, Dean, I was expecting the tattoo artist to be completely sans tattoos,” Dean choked on a laugh. “They’re very beautiful,” Cas’ fingers twitched under the table, but he managed to hold back from stroking the stranger’s skin.

“Thanks. Got any yourself?” Dean’s eyes raked over Cas’ arms, and Cas automatically tugged down on his sleeves. Dean furrowed his brows but didn’t question it.

“Not yet, but maybe one day. I wouldn’t know what to get, though, and that’s half the problem. Every time I think I want one, I chicken out and worry if I’ll like it the same in a month,” Dean scooped up a forkful of pie, eyes completely on Cas. As soon as the pie hit his lips, he couldn’t help a noise of appreciation escape his lips.

“Fuck me, man,” His tongue slipped out to pull any more crumbs into his mouth. Cas couldn’t help the smirk on his face.

“Maybe later,” As soon as the words came out, his hand flew to his face to hide his eyes away. There was silence. The table was shaking slightly, and Cas dared a peek through the cracks in his fingers. Dean was shaking, laughter cascading over the buzz of the shop. Tears were building in his eyes, and his lips were stretched wide. He had one hand holding his chest as he shook, and the other on the table like a vice.

“Damn,” He brought a finger up to his eye to wipe away an escaped tear. “That’ll teach me to underestimate anyone ever again,” Cas cocked his head to the side, and Dean gave him a gummy smile. “Honestly, Cas, I thought you were the shy, nerdy type,”

“Oh, believe me, I am. Usually,” Cas licked his lips nervously.

“What changed?” Dean took a sip from his coffee.

“I guess I’m just so enamoured by your tattoos, I can’t control myself properly,” Cas glanced back over at the counter, secretly praying Gabriel was drowning in a milkshake so he’d have some excuse to run away from this conversation.

“Duly noted,” Dean huffed out another laugh. “What do you do, Cas? I know you’re a barista, but what do you do when you’re not working? Wait,” He placed his mug down on the table, an excited gleam in his eyes. “Lemme guess, you’re...a writer?” Cas was impressed.

“How’d you...?”

“You seem like the type, plus you work with coffee and books. It makes sense, man,” Dean shrugged. “What do you write?”

“Mostly poetry, some general fiction stuff, nothing too notable. Hold up, ‘you seem like the type’? Didn’t you just learn not to underestimate anyone?”

“Ah, yes, but I didn’t underestimate you this time, did I?” That smirk came back in full-force before he scooped another bite of pie into his mouth. Cas conceded. Dean continued to eat his pie quietly for a few moments, and Cas took the time to notice other things about him; how his brown-blonde hair was deliberately messed up to make him look like a hedgehog, the splattering of freckles across his tanned face, the tautness of his muscles even as he sat relaxed eating his pie...

“Cassie, babe, hate to break up the romance, but I’m drowning in coffee orders here,” Gabriel’s voice was loud enough to be heard over the grinder, and Cas let a disappointed sigh escape his lips.

“Terribly sorry, I have to save Gabriel from spilling hot milk on hims―” There was a high-pitched squeal emanating from the coffee machine, and Castiel winced in sympathy. “Too late. You sure you want to hang around for another half hour?” Dean gave Cas a warm smile.

“Cas,” His tone was reassuring. “I’m fine here. Besides, it’s fun watching you work. You get into a zone, and it’s kinda endearing,” Cas didn’t know what to say to that, and Gabriel’s tone was becoming shriller as he called for help, so he just gave Dean a half-smile as he headed back behind the counter. If Cas remained hyper-sensitive of Dean’s eyes on him for the rest of his shift, he wouldn’t admit it to anyone. Especially Dean.

**********

Dean was awestruck by Cas as soon as he saw the guy’s unholy blue eyes. He’ll have hell to pay from Sam and Charlie tomorrow, who kept shooting him obvious looks as soon as he admitted to wanting to stay at the cafe for a bit longer. But he couldn’t help it; he had to get to know this guy better, so sue him. He watched as Cas counted the money in the till, gently bopping his head to the music playing quietly through the speakers. It was something Dean had never heard before, but it sounded cool. He’d recently been put in his place about his music taste; Sam pointed out all the music he listened to was “old enough to be put in a museum, and you’re not being original in liking the same music as Dad, Dean”. It had cut Dean deeper than he cares to admit, so he’s trying. But Lord knows, it’s hard with some of the crap pop radios are churning out these days.

“Dean,” Cas’ gravelly voice pulled Dean out his thoughts, and his stomach tugged nervously hearing his name murmured in that deep baritone. Thoughts of hearing that voice moaning his name as Dean gripped his hands in the man’s mess of permanent bed-head...oh my God, stop it!

“You ready?” He pasted his smile on, praying Cas thought the heat on his face was purely from the heat in the shop.

“Definitely, but I have to ask; what were you wanting to do?” His eyes were filled with casual humour, and Dean found he wanted to capture that expression and save it for a rainy day. His smile became more real.

“Was thinking we could just continue to get to know each other,” He shrugged, pulling his jacket tightly across his chest. “Maybe I can help you work out what tattoo you should get.”

“I’d like that. How about we grab some dinner, though?”

“Well, I was going to grab some stuff from the supermarket anyway, since I’ve only just moved in and there’s still no food in the fridge,” Dean shrugged. “We could whip up something quick together, maybe watch a movie, and then you can head home whenever you wanted to,”

“Do you have work tomorrow?”

“Well, yeah. But some perks come with being the owner,” Dean smirked. “Besides, I don’t have an appointment until late in the afternoon, and even then, that’s only a few line touch-ups. I could do those with my eyes closed,” Cas shot him an alarmed look, which made Dean cackle. “Trust me, I wouldn’t ever do that.”

“Well, it has just occurred to me you are technically a stranger, so,” He crossed his arms, eyebrows raised in false apprehension. “How can I trust you’re not trying to get me into your apartment to murder me or something?” Dean’s grin didn’t falter. He was glad to see Cas was coming out of his shell a little bit.

“Check with your brother. I’m clean, I swear. But then again, I suppose that’s exactly what a serial killer would want you to think,” He bit his lip to pull his grin back. He was already having so much fun with Cas.

“Who said anything about serial killers, Dean?” Cas tilted his head, fighting his grin from slipping his composure.

“Sorry, I’ve been watching too many of those documentaries on Netflix,”

“Don’t blame you, they’re so addictive,” His smile broke onto his face, and damn, Dean is fast becoming addicted to how his smile makes his eyes crinkle, and how his eyes glisten like a summer night sky.

“So, it’s settled then. We’re getting some food, and you’re coming over to mine. Please forgive all the boxes and crap I have laying around. I did just move, so...” Dean trailed off, gesturing to the exit. Cas gave him an easy smile.

“I’ll consider it,” He followed Dean out the door after giving Gabriel a wave, promptly ignoring his brother’s teasing remarks about enjoying his date.


	2. Finally // beautiful stranger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're enjoying this!! I've created a Spotify playlist filled with a whole bunch of pop songs and the like that will be referenced in the chapter titles (much like the Supernatural episode titles haha) and also in the story itself.
> 
> Let me know what you guys think! Also, hope the link works!
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3wYGPF6Wswt3XzG4nNLKIw?si=PxpuPRYmQqeKJT4kuCxTdg

“How the _hell_ can you eat that stuff?” Dean winced as Cas held up habanero peppers.

“Quite easily, but we’re not eating this tonight,” He put the pepper back down, and let a small sigh escape his lips. “What’s your favourite meal?”

“Pie,” Dean laughed. “But I’ve already had enough of that today. You have to teach me how you make those little pies, by the way,”

“They’re quite time-consuming but worth it to see how much money they seem to pull in at the shop. Sometimes if they disappear quick enough, Gabriel gives me a little bit extra as compensation, and an incentive to make more,” Cas glanced up and down the aisles. “What’s your favourite thing for dinner?”

“Oh, yeah, uh,” Dean bit his lip, and Cas tried his hardest not to wish he was doing that instead. “Probably pasta, I guess? I’m not overly picky. Also, love a good steak and potatoes,”

“How about we do pasta this time around since it’s easier?”

“You’re saying steak and potatoes aren’t easy?”

“Not at all, I’m thinking more it’ll be easier for you to have leftovers with pasta,” Cas quirked an eyebrow up. “Probably be good for you to have something for lunch before you get to work,”

“Do you have work tomorrow?” Dean pushed the trolley down the aisle, heading towards the pasta.

“Yeah, I start at nine in the morning. But I think Gabriel’s almost expecting me to get there at ten, given the way I go,”

“How do you still have a job if you’re always late?”

“Gabriel is my brother. I shouldn’t have a job, but he’s extremely desperate,”

“You’re really lucky then.” They managed to get everything they needed for dinner, and the few things Dean said he needed for ‘general living’. Once everything was in bags, they crossed the street towards Leviathan Tattoos. Dean led them down the alleyway towards the side door. Cas managed to look up at his building to see his bedroom window facing Dean’s building.

“That’s my bedroom window,”

“I know,” Dean murmured, opening the door with his hands full. “I saw you scrambling to get to work this morning.”

“Oh, confession time, is it?” Cas licked his lips. “Well if that’s the case, I spotted you and your brother when you were shifting the bed into your room,”

“Oh, so you knew your bedroom window faced mine?” He cocked his eyebrow, gesturing for Cas to go first up the stairs. Cas climbed the stairs; acutely aware Dean was probably sneaking a glance at his ass. He sent a silent thank-you to his past self for pulling on his dark grey straight jeans today instead of his actual work pants.

“I might have,” Cas shrugged as they reached Dean’s apartment door. Glancing around, Cas noticed just how many photos of family and friends Dean had around his place. He saw photos of Sam at his high school graduation, a group photo of baby Sam and toddler Dean with what Cas assumed was his mother and father, a laughing photo of Sam and Dean outside Leviathan Tattoos...Dean looked happy in all of these photos, and it made Cas smile.

“You all good there, Huggy bear?” Dean had already made his way to the kitchen, unpacking the food for dinner.

“You look really happy in these photos,” Cas followed the sound of Dean’s voice. “Sorry, I was distracted by your face,”

“You appreciate my body, don’t cha, buddy?” Dean chuckled. Cas put the mince on the counter and very openly looked Dean up and down. He dragged his gaze slowly up his thighs, his tongue slipping over his lips as he stared in wonder at his muscular form. By the time he reached Dean’s eyes, Cas noticed how blushed and flustered the other man was.

“Yes, Dean, I appreciate your body _a lot_ ,” Cas bit down on his lip. “But,” He switched his attention back to the food and continued unpacking as if nothing happened. “We really should get this food cooking, otherwise we’ll go hungry. And believe me, you won’t like me when I’m hungry,” Cas could _feel_ the stunned emotion coming off of Dean, and the tension in the silence was palpable. Dean let out a small puff of air before copying Cas.

“Same here, truth be told. Sam always knew when I was being crabby to throw some food my way, and within minutes, I’d be good again,” He pulled off his jacket, and a low noise escaped the back of Cas’ throat. “Down, boy,” Dean chuckled, his eyes flashing towards Cas, determinedly avoiding his eyes as he boiled a pot of hot water on the induction stove. “Now, let’s get this started.” He opened his phone, switched on his Spotify, and hesitated over his music playlist. “Do you have a Spotify playlist? I’ve recently been told I need to broaden my musical horizons, and you seemed to be vibing to some pretty interesting music in the shop earlier,”

“Uh, sure,” Cas moved to stand next to Dean so he could locate one of his curated playlists, titled ‘bathed in petals and sugar’ and pressed shuffle.

“Cool playlist title, what’s that from?” Dean started gently swaying with the soulful acoustics coming from his speakers.

“It’s...” Cas blushed as he put the pasta into the pot of already-boiling water. “It’s a line from the story I’m currently writing,” Dean’s face lit up.

“That’s awesome. What’s the story about?” He cut off the ends of onion and gently peeled off the brown skins. There was a few moments of silence as Cas considered avoiding telling Dean anything about his work. Dean didn’t push at all, just continued with the chopping of the onion and the carrot. He’d moved all the vegetables over to the pan with the mince by the time Cas decided to tell him.

“I’ve only written a few chapters, but so far it’s about a guy who’s trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship, and they’ve just had a really bad break-up. I’m sort of stuck at the moment, in a bit of a rut,”

“Sounds heavy,” Dean flashed Cas a blinding smile before he started cutting the onion into small pieces. “But I’d love to read it someday. Do you want a drink?” He gestured towards his alcohol cabinet, which Cas noticed had at least seven different types of whiskeys and bourbons.

“I’m more of a wine drinker,”

“That’s cool, I’ve got a few bottles of Cab-Sav behind the whiskeys, and a couple of Proseccos in the fridge. Red or white?”

“Well,” Cas felt his phone go off, and he pulled it out to see Gabriel calling. “Sorry, my brother’s calling. One moment,” He accepted the call. “What’s up, Gabe? Thought you’d be out at dinner with Kali by now,”

“And I thought you’d be tangled up in Dean-o’s sheets by now, too busy to answer your poor brother’s call,” He chuckled over the speaker, which Cas realised was up very loudly, and Dean probably heard _everything_ Gabriel just said. His face started burning as Gabriel continued: “I was just calling to tell you Ishim’s back in town, and he’s asked for a few shifts, so you can have tomorrow off if you want. I understand completely if you still want the shift; I can tell Ishim to take the Tuesday one instead,” Cas’ stomach twisted painfully.

“Uh, yeah sure I’ll take tomorrow off. Means I’ll be able to have a drink or two. Um, hey, can you maybe make sure Ishim doesn’t work along-side me?”

“Geez, how bad was your break-up? And I thought he was hitting you up again?”

“I never said I was wanting to pursue him again, and yeah the break-up was bad,” Cas kept his gaze firmly on the ticking clock Dean had above his fridge, his back to Dean. He could hear the food sizzling on the stove.

“Wait, there’s something you’re not telling me, isn’t there?” Gabriel’s tone became serious, and Cas furrowed his brow in concern. Gabriel is sweeter than candy most of the time, but Cas also knows he takes his role as older brother almost too seriously. Cas has seen him throw fully-grown men across a room because they touched their sister, Anna, without her permission.

“Nope, there’s nothing there. You’re reading too much into it. Christ, Gabe, we ended the relationship fairly recently, that’s all,”

“You call five months ago ‘recent’?”

“Shut up,”

“You’re taking me out for dinner some night soon, and we _are_ discussing this. If not as your brother, then as your boss.” Cas knows that tone. There would be no budging his resolve.

“Fine. Enjoy your dinner, and tell Kali I said hello,”

“Will do, you tell Dean the same. Enjoy your dinner, and hope you’re holding out for the dessert,” The suggestiveness dripped off his words.

“You’re gross. Goodnight.” Cas pulled his phone from his ear, Gabriel cackling as he hung up.

“All good?” Dean spoke casually from the stove. Cas let out a sigh.

“All good. How’s the pasta going? Oh, and I will have that glass of white. Or perhaps even the whole damn bottle,” He rubbed his face absently.

“Yikes, what’s the story? I tried not to pry, but damn man, you have your volume up loud on your phone,” There was the tell-tale crack of a new bottle being opened from the fridge, and Cas saw Dean’s tanned hand passing him a full glass of chilled wine. Cas took it gratefully. “Also, dinner’s served and at the table when you’re ready.” He squeezed his shoulder, a small smile on his face. Cas reflected the smile.

“Thank-you, sorry I wasn’t more help.” He followed Dean over to the small table where their bowls were and took his seat on the couch. Dean shook his head.

“No need, it was simple enough. Hope it’s good,” He stuck his fork into his bowl and delicately twirled pasta before eating a decent mouthful. Cas mirrored him and gave him a grateful smile.

“It’s delicious, thank-you,” He chewed thoughtfully for a moment. “Were you being honest when you said you wanted to know the story?"

"Only if you’re comfortable talking about it. I get it, I’m practically a stranger,” Dean shrugged. “Maybe we could start with the fluffier pieces of information first?”

“Fluffier?”

“Yeah, you know; favourite colour, favourite animal, dream travel location...” He trailed off. Cas considered as he brought his wine glass to his lips.

“How about both?” He grinned. “My favourite colour’s green, my favourite animal is a bee, and my dream travel location is Vienna,” He took in a deep breath. “And my ex-boyfriend is a co-worker of mine at Perdition Fiction,” Dean licked his lips nervously. “What about you? Favourite colour, favourite animal, dream travel location, and another fact about yourself.”

“Alright, I’ll bite,” Dean considered. “My favourite colour’s blue, my favourite animal is a tiger, and my dream travel location is probably New Zealand,” He scrubbed his hand across his cheek. “And, uh, my mum died when I was about four.”

“Oh,” Cas’ hand twitched, and he figured it would be okay to comfort Dean. He gingerly placed his hand on Dean’s left shoulder and gave it a tentative squeeze. Dean gave him an appreciative look. “I’m sorry for your loss, Dean.”

“Thanks, but that was years ago. Sam and I have gotten on fairly well without her, but damn it, if I don’t miss her every day,” Dean looked longingly towards the picture hanging near the entrance. He huffed out a laugh. “Shit, man, I think I might break out a glass of whiskey. You sure you’re good with your wine?”

“For now,” Cas hummed. Dean gave him a quick smile before heading towards his liquor cabinet.

“Okay. Favourite singer or band, favourite author, your biggest pet peeve, and give me something else about your past,” He had filled two tumblers with whiskey and ice, placing one down next to Cas’ almost-empty glass of wine, and placed the bottle down next to his drink. “Just so you know, you don’t have to drink that. I hope I’m not coming off as if I’m pushing you to drink.”

“Of course not,” Cas gave him a relaxed smile. He hadn’t even realised he’d already nearly finished his glass. He finished off the rest of his pasta as he thought. “Okay, my favourite singer would have to be Taylor Swift. Don’t give me that look,” He glared playfully at Dean. He held up his hands in surrender.

“Alright, alright. Honestly, my reaction is borne purely from what others have told me. Haven’t listened to too much of her stuff. Except for a couple of them, I like that one where she’s like ‘players gonna play, play, play...’”

“’Shake It Off’. I was going to say, if you haven’t at least heard that one, I will educate you in all things Miss Swift,” Cas smirked, downing the last of his wine. “As for favourite author, that’s a bit trickier. Probably Oscar Wilde, or Shakespeare. My biggest pet peeve is people being rude to service workers,” Dean made a noise of loud agreeance. “And my brothers once got my whole family kicked out of a bar because they got hassled a bunch of bikies for all they had.” He watched as Dean broke out in a full-bodied laugh. His whole chest shook as he threw his head back, mouth wide open. He tried to console himself, but tremors of laughter continued to spill forth. “And that’s the short version of how my big brothers Michael and Lucifer ended up owning a bar two cities over.” Dean continued to grin.

“Geez, Cas, how many siblings do you have?”

“Just the three older brothers, and then there’s Anna. She’s just finished her second year at college,” Cas smiled fondly as he thought about his sister. “She’s going to be a brilliant psychologist one day.”

“So you’ve got two brothers who own a bar, one brother who owns a coffee shop, a sister who’s going to be a psychologist, and you’re going to be a world-famous writer one day,” Dean drained the rest of his drink. “That’s pretty fucking dope.” Cas bit down on his lip, blushing at the compliment. “What?”

“I...I’m not used to compliments like that,”

“What?” Dean scoffed, pouring himself another glass. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Maybe, but when you’ve lived as I have, it’s honestly not that surprising. Especially regarding your writing when your father is a bestselling author,” He shrugged. Dean frowned.

“That’s still bullshit, Cas. You deserve to be complimented.”

“You’re not going to ask about my dad’s writing?”

“Do you want me to?” Dean cocked his eyebrow.

“Honestly, I’d prefer if you didn’t. I _hate_ his stupid murder mysteries, and his pen-name used to drive me up the wall. Kids at school would always ask me ‘Why isn’t your last name ‘Edlund’ like your dad?’” Cas rolled his eyes. Dean let out a huff of breath, so Cas narrowed his gaze. “What?”

“You’ve just sorta...told me who your dad is,” Dean grimaced. “Dad was a massive fan of Carver Edlund’s books. Sam hated them, and I couldn’t get past the first few chapters of the first book, which meant Dad deemed me illiterate,” He laughed mirthlessly.

“Wow, that’s cold,”

“Oh well,” Dean raised his refilled glass. “Here’s to shitty fathers,” He held his glass up, and Cas clinked his tumbler glass with Dean’s. Cas smiled as he brought the amber liquid to his lips. It’d been a long time since he’d had whiskey. The music was still playing over the speakers, and Cas relaxed to the sound of Taylor Swift singing about her lover. The alcohol burned as it went down his throat, and a moan escaped Cas’ lips. Dean noticed. “You alright there?” His voice came out low. Cas realised he’d shifted closer to Dean to clink his glass with his. Dean pressed their shoulders together, and Cas noticed how blown out his pupils were. He flicked his gaze down to Cas’ lips. Cas dug his teeth into his bottom one, and Dean mimicked him. “Cas...”

“Yes, Dean?” All he could smell was the alcohol, something herbal in the air surrounding them and a lingering scent of coffee on Dean’s shirt. Closer...closer...

The music stopped, and Dean’s phone replaced it with the sound of a ringtone.

“Motherfucker.” Dean growled and glared towards his phone jack. Cas gently touched the inside of Dean’s wrist.

“Go answer it, trust me. I won’t go anywhere,” Cas smiled. Dean simmered down at that, and slowly sauntered over to answer the call.

“This is Dean,” There was a hurried voice on the other end of the call, and Dean held up his hand as he spoke. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Lisa, slow down. Of course, we can reschedule, babe. Don’t sweat it. We’ve still got your deposit, so you can just come around any time that works best for you. Give my love to Ben, and just shoot me a text when you’re able to come around for that touch-up. Alright, bye Lis,” He hung up and let out a heavy sigh.

“All good?” Cas leaned up against the couch, head tilted. Dean put his phone back on the jack and resumed the music, the end of the Taylor Swift song drifting through the speakers. Once he was satisfied with that, he topped up his glass but didn’t sit back down.

“All good, my client just had to reschedule her appointment for another day, since her son’s up in the hospital with a broken arm,” Dean chuckled. “Crazy kid, reminds me of myself when I was younger,”

“Okay,” Cas glanced at the empty spot where Dean was sitting before the phone call. They were so close...how can he get him back to where they were?

“Cas,” Dean started, picking up his glass and taking a large sip before continuing. “I need you to tell me this right now because I’m extremely keen to do whatever you want to do, but just...be straight with me,”

“Kinda hard to do that since I’m hella gay,” Cas gave him a lazy smile.

“Knew you’d say that,” Dean chuckled before taking a soft breath. “Where do you want this to go? Because I am down with a one night stand if that’s what you’re wanting, but I also feel like that’s going to sting later on. I like you. I really like spending time with you, and I want to get to know you. So I don’t want to just do the normal ‘wham, bam, thank-you ma’am’ thing with you. But,” He hesitated. “I also really, _really_ want to suck your dick.” Cas’ brain short-circuited. “Cas?”

“Sorry, just giving my brain a second to catch up with the rest of my body,” Especially his cock, which is very much on-board with this turn of events. “I...agree with your sentiments regarding pursuing a friendship or possibly more, and I am also okay with pursuing a possible sexual relationship with you in the near future,”

“Why are you talking like a professor?” Dean smirked. Cas shot him a dirty look.

“It’s called ‘being polite’, Dean,”

“Are you sure you’re not verbally overcompensating?”

“Overcompensating for what?”

“How turned on you are right now?” Dean dropped his gaze to Cas’ crotch. Cas groaned.

“Fuck you, Winchester,”

“If that’s what you want,” His lips quirked up. “But no, all flirting aside, what do you _want_?” Cas considered.

“As...as much as I really, _really_ want to take you up on your offer,” He watched as Dean’s expression sobered, which disheartened Cas immensely. “I want to get to know you before I dive straight into anything sexual. That was what got me into trouble with Ishim,”

“Ishim, the ex-boyfriend Gabriel has working for him?” Cas nodded, dropping his gaze to the couch. “Ah,” Dean frowned. “I’m already not liking this guy, Cas. What the hell did he do to you?”

“Well, that’s a story for another day, I think,” After a beat, Dean sighed.

“Would it be too forward of me to offer for you to sleep in my bed with me?” Cas blinked at him. “I’m a big cuddle guy, and you look like you need companionship tonight. I know I do,” He sighed again. “I promise, no funny stuff. Just literal sleeping together.” He offered his hand.

“I’d...I’d like that, Dean.” Cas gave him a small smile as he took his hand, following Dean into his bedroom.


	3. Sudden Desire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a little bit longer, and I promise we're starting to get to the good stuff! Enjoy!
> 
> Also, please be warned, there are vague references to past trauma (physical abuse) It's in the second paragraph.

Morning broke through Dean’s curtains gently, as if the sun was hoping it wouldn’t wake the people snuggled together in bed. Cas slowly opened his eyes, wondering if last night’s events were something he concocted to keep his nightmares at bay. The slow rise and fall of the warm body holding him shattered all thought of imaginary hope. This was _real_.

“Good morning, angel,” Dean murmured as he pulled him closer to his chest. Cas froze. _Angel_... His mind started racing, ripping memories out of dusty boxes he’d buried in the far corners of his mind... of purple fingerprints staining his skin...of rejected agony and sounds of splintered wood... “Cas?” It sounded like Dean was speaking underwater. Or was it Cas who was underwater? Certainly, it felt like he was drowning, clawing at his throat to break the invisible chain around his neck...There was a soft caress on his face, and the heady scent of leftover alcohol and something that was so intrinsically _Dean_ pulled the chain from Cas’ neck. All Cas could hear was heavy panting... _he_ was struggling to breathe. “You’re okay, you’re safe, I’m right here, Cas.” Dean’s fingertips traced gentle patterns on his cheeks, watching closely as Cas’ breathing slowed down.

“Sorry,” He choked out.

“It’s okay, there’s no need to apologise. I take it that was a bad nickname, hey?”

“It...brought back memories I’d rather forget,” Cas’ eyes were watering from the attack, and he felt like he’d just been in a running marathon. “I didn’t realise...”

“Hey now,” Dean continued gently caressing his face. “It’s nobody’s fault. Do you need me to get you anything? Some water, maybe?” Cas nodded slowly, feeling his heart-rate decrease at a steady pace. “I’ll be right back, okay?” He gently squeezed Cas’ shoulder.

“Thank you, Dean,” And Dean was gone, but Cas could still hear his footsteps down the hallway, and then the sound of the tap in the kitchen running. Cas took a moment to glance around the bedroom he didn’t get much of a chance to see last night. The bed was up against the wall facing the window, where Cas could see into his own bedroom if he strained his neck. Off to the right of where Cas was laying was a small ensuite bathroom, and there was that same smell that made him think _Dean_ coming from the diffuser Dean had perched on top of his dresser. Curiosity got the better of him, and Cas languidly pulled himself out of the bed, keeping the duvet wrapped around his body to trap in the warmth. Upon inspection, the label on the diffuser read ‘Relax with Lavender and Sage’.

“Cas,” Dean’s voice was soft as he approached his bedroom door. Cas turned to give him a small smile. Dean was wearing a wide grin.

“What?” Cas’ voice still sounded croaky.

“You stole my doona,”

“It’s cold,”

“Jesus Christ, you’re cute,” He placed the glass on the dresser. “And you are right, it is cold. Mind if I join you?” Cas smiled as he opened his arms to wrap the blanket around the both of them. Dean pulled Cas back into his chest, resting his chin on Cas’ shoulder. There was comfortable silence as Cas considered what to say.

“I’ll be honest, I can’t remember the last time I slept so well.” He nuzzled his face into Dean’s broad shoulder and felt Dean’s laugh in his chest.

“I’m glad. Same here,” There was a ghost of something close to Cas’ head...maybe Dean’s lips? Cas couldn’t be sure. “We don’t have to discuss it if you don’t want to, you know. I’m just fine with waiting until you’re ready,”

“How are you so good?” Cas didn’t mean for the words to come out, and his cheeks turned a furious red as Dean pulled his head back to look Cas in the eyes.

“Trust me, I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination,” Dean considered Cas seriously. “I’ve just...been through a bit, and I know what it’s like to be dismissed for having emotions. I just don’t want anyone else going through that. And also,” Dean smiled. “As I said last night, I like you, Cas. I don’t want to do anything that might jeopardise having you around.”

“Thank you,” Cas’ stomach had finally woken up, and was roaring in disapproval at having no substance to break down. “Oh God,” Dean’s infectious laughter made Cas shake, and Cas smiled meekly up at Dean. “So I guess I’m hungry, then.”

“Good to hear because I’m starving. Where did you want to go for breakfast, since I really can’t be bothered cooking?” There was a gleam in Dean’s eye, and Cas didn’t know what to expect.

“You’ve got this crazy look in your eye, so I’m just going to say whatever you’re thinking, I’ll go with that too,”

“Excellent. But you have to drink all of that water first, then we can take turns having showers,” Dean winked.

**********

As they walked past Leviathan Tattoos, Dean gave a massive wave to Sam and Charlie. He could see they were looking amazed at the sight of Dean’s arm around Cas’ shoulders, but he refused to give them the satisfaction of knowing more.

“Let’s head off a little further down the main street, maybe check out this place my old buddy Crowley works at, he called it ‘Howl at The Moon’. It’s an odd sort of place, kinda like a restaurant-slash- karaoke bar-slash-music shop-slash-live band stage,” Dean shrugged. “You up for it?”

“Sure, but do they do breakfast?”

“Oh, baby,” Dean flashed Cas a positively wicked grin. “Their breakfast-for-two is worth selling your soul for,” Cas gave him a weird look. “What? That’s Crowley’s schtick. He loves all things supernatural and stuff. Honestly thought you would appreciate it, since your workplace is named _Perdition_ Fiction, like something outta the Bible,”

“You...you do know Leviathans are also straight out of the Bible, too, right?”

“Yeah, of course. But they’re also from Ancient Norse Mythology, Judaism, and other cultural references to ‘sea monsters’ throughout history,”

“Impressive,” Cas gave Dean an adoring glance. Dean let out a disappointed sigh.

“Wasn’t me who came up with the idea. Was all Sammy, and he explained the mythology behind it to me at least five times before I decided yes to the name. You wanna know what I wanted to call it?”

“Of course,”

“The Family Business,” He hung his head in shame.

“Hey, that’s not a bad name, it makes sense actually,” Cas placed his hand gently on Dean's arm.

“You’re just saying that because I’m paying for breakfast, aren’t you?”

“I would never, and also, you paid for dinner, let me pay for breakfast.” They entered a large red-bricked building. Over the door, there was a howling wolf carved into an iron sign. Dean glared playfully, but he didn’t say anything against it, so Cas counted it as a win.

The restaurant was relatively quiet, which wasn’t surprising for a Monday morning. A few people were rushing through to get their morning coffee, and a few people were stopping to book the space for future parties. A stout man with a goatee was standing at the main register, and his whole face lit up at the sight of Dean.

“Dean Winchester, as I live and breathe,” The man’s British accent curled out of his mouth with a sense of pompousness, reminding Cas of his favourite cousin, Balthazar.

“Crowley, good to see you, man,” Dean shook the man’s hand, keeping his arm around Cas’ shoulder.

“And who is this gorgeous man you’ve graced my presence with?” Crowley took Cas’ nervous hand from when he offered it and pressed a courteous kiss. “Welcome, darling, to my establishment.” Dean emitted a low noise, and Crowley dropped Cas’ hand quickly. “Easy there, Winchester. How about some lattes to start, on the house for you both? You’re welcome to your spot, Dean,”

“Thank you,” Dean’s tone was clipped. Cas raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Crowley gave them both a wide smile and gestured to the table with plush armchairs off towards the back of the restaurant. They took their seats, and Crowley whipped away to make the coffees.

“What was that about?” Cas tilted his head, picking up a menu at an attempt of nonchalance.

“What do you mean?” Dean’s tone was too light for Cas to take him seriously, but he let it slide. They sat in silence until Crowley came back with the coffees. “Thanks, Crowley. Could we have the Crossroads Breakfast Deal? Eggs over easy for me...how do you like your eggs, Cas?” Cas didn’t miss the smirk on Dean’s face.

“Should’ve asked me that last night, sweetheart,” He turned his attention to Crowley, who was biting down on his lip to stop giggling. “Scrambled, for me, thank-you.”

“Right away. Enjoy your coffees.” Crowley made a slight flourish as he dashed off. Dean smirked as he took a sip of his coffee.

“What?”

“Nothing, Cas.”

“No, it’s not nothing. Spit it out,” Dean’s smirk became more pronounced as he gulped down his coffee.

“I prefer to swallow, thanks.” He winked. Cas felt his face heat up. God, this is going to be more difficult than he thought.

“Asshole,” He muttered as he took a sip from his coffee.

“What about you?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Spit or swallow, Novak?” Dean’s expression looked perfectly innocuous, but Cas could see the mischievous gleam in his eyes.

“You’ll find out soon enough, Winchester.”

“Is that a promise?” Dean didn’t even give Cas a moment to feel proud of his quick response. Cas mirrored Dean’s smirk.

“Play your cards right...” He took another long drink of his coffee. It was nice enough, but Cas still found himself longing for a double-shot mocha latte from Perdition Fiction. Dean gave Cas an indeterminable expression. “What?”

“Just...we’ve got the physical and sexual attraction down pat,” He smiled. “How about we continue getting to know each other?”

“Sure, Dean. What would you like to know?”

“How about more about your family?” Dean brought his coffee back to his lips, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Alright. Well, I’ve told you about my brothers, and you know a bit about my asshole of a father. My mother was pretty much out of the picture just after Anna was born. So it was Dad and my uncle Bartholomew who raised us along with our cousins Balthazar and Raphael,” Cas smiled fondly. “Balth was only about a year older than me, so we got along really well, and Raphael was probably the most stand-offish out of all of us,”

“That’s awesome, except for losing your mum; did she leave or...?”

“Yeah, she got tired of Dad’s antics and went off with my auntie Amara, actually,”

“What?” Dean blinked.

“Yeah, that was my reaction too,” Cas shrugged. “Completely pulled the rug out from under Dad’s feet, though. He became an extreme recluse, only coming out to publish his novels and that was about it,”

“Yikes,”

“Understatement,” Cas tilted his head. “What about you? Any more interesting family stories?”

“Not really,” He glanced around. “Except for the fact that my Dad is an alcoholic homophobe who kicked me out of the house after finding me holding hands with a boy at sixteen.” Cas stared incredulously. “What?”

“Dean,” He breathed. At that moment, Crowley arrived with two massive plates piled with eggs, bacon, baked beans and sausages on toast.

“Eggs over easy for Ken Doll over here, and scrambled for Captain Sexy. Enjoy, lovebirds.” Crowley winked at both of them before speeding away to welcome a couple waiting at the bar. Dean began stabbing at his eggs, dipping his bacon into the runny yolk.

“Dean,” Cas tried again, but Dean shovelled a large portion of food into his mouth, causing his cheeks to puff out like a squirrel. Cas sighed and proceeded to eat slowly. He’ll start speaking when he’s ready.

Once both of their plates were nearly completely cleared, Dean cleared his throat. Cas met Dean’s green eyes cautiously.

“I’m sorry,” Dean leaned back against the chair, rubbing his hand on his neck. “That was heavier on me than I thought it was going to be. I didn’t mean to upset you by shutting down. I promise you; I wasn’t annoyed or angry at you,”

“I know, Dean. It’s okay,” Cas reached over to hold Dean’s hand resting on the corner of the table. Dean accepted it and squeezed Cas’ hand. “I understand all about memories you’d much prefer forgotten,” Dean gave Cas a patient stare. “Sometimes things are still too raw to talk about, or sometimes you’re still processing some stuff that happened during the time. That’s what I’m writing about at the moment.” Cas shrugged.

“Cas,” Dean’s expression became slightly wild.

“What?” Cas glanced around, thinking something was going to jump out at him. Dean squeezed Cas’ hand to bring his attention back to him.

“You...” He licked his lips. “You said you were writing about being trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship...” Dean frowned. Cas’ heart sank.

“Oh, oh!” He gave Dean an apologetic smile. “That’s...no, I was specifically talking about my poetry.”

“Alright, as long as you’re sure,” He squeezed Cas’ hand again. “But I suppose, that’s heavy stuff, so I get it if you’re not telling me everything. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to assume anything.”

“It’s okay, Dean.” Cas gave him a gummy smile, and Dean’s heart did a backflip. Shit, he was falling fast for this man. Hopefully, Dean thought, it wasn’t going to blow up in his face.

*************

Cas watched the next few days pass in a blur. He still found himself staring blankly at his laptop, silently cursing writer’s block for existing. Perhaps he needed a new view instead of the concrete wall of his loungeroom. Scooping up his laptop, he gracefully entered his dark bedroom and pulled back the fabric curtains to let some grey light in. Meg, his Scottish Fold shorthair, let out a small complaining meow from the corner of his double bed.

“Oh, hush, Meg,” He scratched behind her ear, which earned him a loud, rumbling purr. He glanced out the window and noticed Dean’s curtains were drawn. Serves Cas right for getting his hopes up.

It’s not like Cas hasn’t seen Dean in the time that’s passed. Dean asked for Cas’ schedule, so he knows when to come by and order a latte. Cas had gotten into the habit of writing cute little notes on the side of his cup, like ‘The sunshine dims compared to your smile’ and ‘Your eyes are especially gorgeous today’. Gabriel rolled his eyes every time he saw one of the notes but didn’t say much else. It made Dean smile, which was all that mattered.

He stretched out on his bed, plumped up his pillows and nestled in just as the rain started to pour outside. Cas let out a sigh of content, and he started to type away. He didn’t have any pre-determined destination for his characters, just wanted to say he’d written something today. If it was garbage, well...that was future Cas’ problem.

As he was getting into the newest twist for his novel, Cas’ message tone on his phone went off. Heart in his throat, hoping it was Dean, Cas leapt towards his end table to check. His chest constricted as he saw the name wasn’t Dean. It was _him._

_Hey Cas. Was hoping to see you at work today. Maybe we could catch a movie tonight? Or not, we could just hang out. I miss you, angel._

Icy spikes pierced his heart as he felt the intention behind Ishim’s message. He was getting more daring. Before it was just friendly ‘hello’s’ and ‘hope you have a good day’s’. But now...

“He needs to fuck off,” Cas muttered to nobody in particular. Meg let out an agreeing noise, which made Cas smile. Emotions bubbled to the surface, and he couldn’t help feeling like he needed to tell Ishim just how he feels...his fingers hovered over his phone’s keyboard _..._ No. Cas shut down the thoughts before they could pull him down the dark spiral. He plugged his phone into his bedside speaker, pulling up his Spotify. He clicked on his story’s playlist. Taylor Swift’s banjo started playing, and Cas found himself swaying gently. ‘ _I took a chance; I took a shot. And you might think I’m bulletproof, but I’m not_...’

**********

As soon as he shut the door to his bedroom, Dean felt the stress of today seep out of his muscles. Maybe he should use those bath-salts Jess gifted him for his birthday a few months ago, get the rest of the lingering tightness out of his legs and arms. Dean sighed as he switched on his bedroom light. Today was a late workday, with both Sam and Dean accepting probably too many walk-ins. Dean can’t complain though; they brought in an extra $2,000 today on walk-ins alone, and the clients were happy with their end product.

He didn’t get a chance to see Cas today, since it was his day off. Dean didn’t see the point in going into Perdition Fiction if he wasn’t going to see his favourite barista, and if there was a high chance he’d meet Cas’ ex. Dean still feels the story hasn’t been completely revealed to him, but that was entirely up to Cas. Against his better judgement, Dean pulled his plaid curtain back slightly, and couldn’t fight the grin on his face at the sight of Cas dancing like nobody was watching. Dean watched as Cas lifted his cat into his arms, and waltzed around the room with a goofy grin on his face. He pulled out his phone and opened up a message for Cas.

D: _You’re a beautiful dancer, Cas. Although your dance partner doesn’t seem to agree._

He watched as Cas placed the cat down on the bed and approach his phone plugged into the stereo. Dean couldn’t see Cas’ expression as he read the message, but the mortified look on his face as he spun to the window was telling enough. Dean smirked as he clicked the ‘call’ button. The dial tone rang once, and Dean watched Cas pull the phone to his ear.

“Stalker,” Cas’ voice was terse, but Dean could see the grin on his face as he went to sit by the window. Dean pulled his little foot-rest towards the window and sat down to look at Cas.

“Please, sweetheart, don’t stop on my account,”

“You stopped my music when you called,” Cas tilted his head.

“Aw, sorry,” Dean didn’t feel sorry at all. He smiled. “Hey,”

“Hey,” Cas mirrored Dean’s small smile.

“Missed you today,”

“Likewise. How was work?”

“It was good, tiring though. Was considering drawing a bath. Did a lot of walk-ins,”

“That’s not a normal thing for you guys, right?” Cas tilted his head from the window.

“Nope, but can’t complain. Made a bit of extra money than we were expecting, and Jo, Charlie’s girlfriend, showed up to give us a free lunch, which was great,”

“Well, that’s lovely,” There was a gentle silence, as they both stared at each other through the windows. Dean’s gaze fell to Cas’ lips, which looked just as rough and chapped as ever. He found himself wondering what it would be like to...

“Oh my God!”

“What?” Cas’ blue eyes went wide with panic, and he checked behind him. Dean let out a laugh.

“I just realised something super important. Can I meet you at your door?”

“Uh...sure?” Cas stared incredulously as he watched Dean hang up the phone.

With newfound energy, Dean bound out his front door and galumphed down the alleyway stairs. The rain was bucketing down now, and he found himself standing in front of the side-door that leads to Cas’ apartment. He pounded hard on the door.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Dean could hear Cas shouting from somewhere close by. There was the sound of a lock turning, and a chain sliding and the door swung open to reveal Cas’ confused face. Dean gave him a wide grin and didn’t give the other man a chance to run. He wrapped his drenched arms around Cas’ body and pulled him out into the downpour with him. “Oh my God, Dean!” He let out a shocked laugh.

“I figured I’d be all romantic about it,” Dean’s smile remained as he held his face up to let the rain wash over his face. He gazed gently at Cas and wiped away a stream of water heading towards his beautiful blue eyes.

“What are you doing?” Cas gave him a nervous smile, and Dean bit his lip to draw Cas’ gaze to his mouth. He brought his hand down to cup his chin and pulled his face closer...slowly...allowing Cas time to pull away if he wanted to. He took in everything― Cas’ pink cheeks, his five-o’clock shadow trapping the rain on his face, the high-tempo speed his breathing took as his perfectly-chapped lips parted...

Cas’ lips were burning hot compared to the icy water washing over them. Dean was surprised to find they weren’t nearly as harsh as he imagined they would be, and he was already becoming intoxicated from the taste of the berry-flavoured mint on his breath. Cas’ left hand swept up into Dean’s sopping hair, and his right wrapped around his waist to rest just above his ass. He grinned and gently nipped Cas’ lip, which earned him a low moan.

“Can’t believe I didn’t do that sooner, just didn’t want you to feel rushed, I hope that wasn’t too much too fast, I’m sorry if I moved too fast...” Dean was babbling, and his heart felt like it was trying to soar out of his throat. Cas silenced him with another kiss, and _boy_ , was he not subtle about just how he felt about Dean’s advances. The traces of Cas’ bites burned his lips, and Cas swept his tongue gently over the space where the skin nearly tore. He pulled himself up, and regarded Dean with such a smouldering intensity, Dean thought he was about to smite him to ash.

“Do not ever apologise for your kisses, Dean Winchester. God,” He let out a huff of a laugh. “The amount of time I’d spent the last few days just trying to imagine what your lips would feel like...those imaginations will never compare to the truth. You,” His eyes looked fevered. “You are my truth, Dean.” Dean didn’t know what to say, so he pulled Cas back in for another kiss.


	4. Adore You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might notice I went through and changed Uriel to Ishim because it felt a little better to me for him to be Cas' ex. Especially since we might get a run-in with him...sooner than you think...

“Wait, you guys kissed in the _rain_?! Oh wow, Dean,” Sam made loud kissing noises from the front counter of Leviathan Tattoos. Dean let out a painful moan.

“ _Charlie!_ ” He shot a playful glare at his red-headed friend, who was tattooing a scythe onto a woman’s arm. Charlie pulled the needle back before she responded to Dean.

“Dude, come _on_ , I had to tell Sam. He wouldn’t let me play with Ruby if I didn’t!”

“You sold me out for five minutes of play-time with a dog? Wow. That’s it, friendship ruined. We are strictly co-workers only now,” He spoke with a grin, and Charlie rolled her eyes.

“You’d miss me too much, Dean,”

“Look, you’re not wrong,” Dean scrubbed his face absently. “Anyway. What’s done is done.” There was a silence as Dean continued sketching, which wasn’t normal. He glanced up to see everybody, including Charlie’s customer, Billie, staring at him. “What?”

“Well, come on! Details, details!” Charlie waggled her eyebrows. “All I got from you was that one text saying, ‘Holy shit Cas is an amazing kisser, and the rain made it 1000% times hotter’. Tell. Me. More.”

“Yeah, jerk. Tell us. But please, refrain from any explicit sexual things,” Sam made a gross face. “Remember, I’m your brother, and this is a place of business. Please don’t make me throw up in my own workplace,”

“Bitch, I take that as a challenge. But not today,” Dean grinned. “But yeah, it was...really nice. He didn’t expect it at all. I just got home from that really busy day, and it was pouring outside. Saw him dancing awkwardly from his window, with his cat...”

“Aww, he has a cat? Adorable!” Charlie cooed.

“Yeah, a Scottish Fold called Meg. She’s a bit of a bitch,” Dean shrugged. “Anyway. Yeah, I sent him a message and called him. We were just talking about our days, and I found myself wondering about what his lips would feel like, and it hit me like lightning,”

“Remind me not to ever let you write any romantic books or poetry,” Sam quipped. “’Hit me like lightning’? Really?”

“Well, that’s what it felt like, and do you two want me to tell the story or do you want me to stop because I-“ Dean grinned at the chorus of ‘no, no please, continue!’. “Thank you. Anyway. Yeah, I realised, we’d been dating for the best part of a week, and I still hadn’t even _kissed_ him. So I thought ‘Stuff it, he can stop me if he wants to, but I’m going to kick myself later if I don’t _try_ ’. Told him to meet me at his building door, and pulled him out into the rain. Went slow with it, so he could pull back at any time, and we kissed,”

“Aww,” Charlie cooed again.

“When we broke apart, I started apologising for moving too fast and for jumping the gun, and he silenced me,”

“With another kiss?”

“Yeah,” A shy grin crept onto Dean’s face.

“Oh my God, you guys are a damn romantic comedy,” Sam huffed out a laugh. Dean lobbed one of the store’s hand-towels at him, and Sam caught it deftly. “But no, that’s great, Dean. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks, man.” Dean felt his stomach flutter nervously. “I...I like him,” His voice wavered. “He’s so funny, and he doesn’t even mean to be. His eyes do this cute little crinkle when he grins, and they’re prettier than a clear summer sky, and his laugh is better than coffee, or whiskey. It makes my day better. He makes me better.” A hot flush crept on his face as he realised he was revealing a little _too_ much. Sam stared at him, dumbstruck. Charlie, on the other hand, let out a cackle.

“Oh, boy, you’ve got it _bad_.”

“Honey, you’re crushing hard on this man,” Billie piped up, giving Dean a warm smile. “He sounds really lovely.”

“Thanks, Billie. He is.” Dean gave her a meek smile. “Think I might head over and grab some lunch, and say hey. Cas should be finishing up now.” He checked his watch before glancing around. “Anybody want some coffees?” Sam and Charlie let out a chorus of yes’s. As soon as Dean exited the store, Sam turned to Charlie, regaining his ability to speak.

“I’ve never seen Dean that happy before. Not even with Cassie,” Sam mused.

“Yeah, last time I saw that expression on a Winchester’s face, it was you telling us you were gonna marry Jess one day.” Sam’s face went bright red.

“Shut up.”

**********

Dean didn’t know what he was expecting when he walked into Perdition Fiction, but it wasn’t this. The store was chaotic; a line had formed to the door, with a loud buzz of people talking over each other. Dean could see Castiel running around, looking extremely flushed and slightly manic. Gabriel was trapped behind the coffee machine, pumping out four coffees at once, and another man was waltzing around the store, passing said coffees to grumbling customers. Dean had never seen this man before, but in the back of his mind, he had a sneaking suspicion he’d heard about him.

“Dean-o!” Gabriel called from behind the coffee hopper. “Take a seat, buddy, I’ll get your coffees and your lunch done and send Cas over to you in a moment!”

Three things happened simultaneously― Cas made eye contact with Dean and flashed him a quick smile before getting back to helping a customer with their books, the customers in front of the coffee machine let out low grumbles, and the waltzing man made a beeline for Dean. _Oh boy_.

“Hello, Dean,” The man was...attractive, Dean has to admit. A lot older than him if the grey-speckled beard was anything to go by. His voice sounded like a smoker’s, and Dean could smell the lingering scent of cigarettes hanging on his skin. He had inquisitive eyes, and his body was wiry. Dean could easily take him in a fight, and that settled Dean’s emotions somewhat. “I’m Ishim, I can grab your coffee if you like,” Dean couldn’t help raising his eyebrow as he felt the older man check him out. Being checked out didn’t bother him so much anymore. Dean _knows_ he’s pretty, thank you very much. What bothered him was the fact that _this_ was Ishim.

“No thank-you, I’ll wait until my _boyfriend_ is free.” He couldn’t help it, his chest puffed out as he watched Ishim’s face fall slightly. From behind the coffee machine, Dean thought he could hear Gabriel mutter ‘Oh my god, Cassie, stop your man before he beats the shit out of my employee’. But he could’ve imagined it.

“Of course,” The man’s eyes went cold and his lips pressed into a tight line before he wandered towards the cash register. Dean let out a breath before he took a seat staring directly at the register.

After about fifteen minutes, the line dwindled to three remaining customers, and Gabriel managed to get free from the coffee machine. He placed a takeaway tray with three tall coffees to go on the counter with a bag containing Dean’s chicken cheese focaccia. He battered Cas away from the register, murmuring something to him. Cas gave his brother a small smile and Gabriel reflected it. Ishim had disappeared through the Staff Only door, but Dean noticed Cas still glanced around nervously before he made his way towards Dean with the coffees and food in his hands.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Dean gave him a warm smile. Cas’ small smile broke into a wide grin.

“Hey,” His voice cracked slightly. “Um, Gabe has told me to finish up. I was meant to finish up at 1, but we got hit with that craziness, and he needed me to stay on. I’m sorry,” Cas bit his lip.

“Hey now, what are you sorry for?” Dean took Cas’ hand and used his thumb to rub gentle circles onto the top of his hand. Cas let out a deep sigh and gave Dean a meaningful look. “Oh, you mean, you’re sorry you had no control over me meeting your ex, even though it was inevitable because he works at the same coffee shop I go to nearly every day?” Dean cocked his eyebrow. Cas bit his lip to hide a small smile.

“I suppose when you say it like that, it seems silly of me to apologise.”

“Castiel, you are many things, but ‘silly’ is not one of them.” Dean gestured to the door. “How about we get out of here? I can introduce you to my brother and my best friend.”

“Dean, I’ve already met Sam and Charlie. Also met Jess, remember?”

“Well, yeah, but this time I can introduce you as my boyfriend.”

“You think you’re funny,”

“I think I’m adorable.” Dean pursed his lips and gave Cas a wink as they stood up to leave. Dean gave Gabriel a wave as they exited the store and he wrapped his arm around Cas’ shoulders as they headed into Leviathan Tattoo. As the door swung open, Charlie raced straight over to Dean and pulled the coffees out of his hands and placed them on the counter.

“Surrender your boyfriend to me for hugs right now, Winchester,” She tried to sound menacing, but Dean found it incredibly endearing.

“Sorry, Cas. I should’ve warned you,” Dean dropped his arm and watched Cas’ eyes go wide as Charlie flung her arms around him. “She’s a hugger.”

“Oh my God,” Charlie squeezed him tightly, and Cas brought his arms up to hold her back. She pulled back and gave him a radiant smile. “Did we just become best friends?”

“We can be if you want, but I think Inias might fight you for the reigning title,” He gave her a meek smile. She threw a light punch on his arm. Dean let out a laugh.

“Don’t suffocate him with your friendship, Red.”

“Oi, I am a delight.” She glanced between Dean and Cas before giving Cas a knowing look. “You’ve got him, hook, line and sinker, just so you know, Cas. He was practically _gushing_ about you before he left to get coffee,” She winked. Dean felt his face burn.

“Charlie...” He warned.

“That’s sweet,” Cas gave Dean a warm smile. “What was he saying?” Charlie and Sam started babbling and their words were overlapping one another.

“Okay, lock it up, you two,” Dean pulled his chicken focaccia out of the bag and started to slowly eat.

“How have you been, Cas?” Sam came over and gave Cas a warm hug. Cas smiled as they broke apart.

“Been pretty good, working hard, writing a lot,”

“Oh yeah? What’ve you been writing?” Sam’s eyes lit up as he took his coffee.

“Just been writing a lot of poetry. Can’t seem to stop, like I’ve got this newfound source of creativity,”

“Or you’ve found your muse,” Charlie gave Dean a side glance. Dean raised an eyebrow. Cas just gave him a sheepish smile.

“Perhaps,” His cheeks tinged. Dean gave him a wide grin before pulling the last of his focaccia into his mouth.

“That’s awesome, Cas,” He didn’t know how else to react to that. How do you respond to that? ‘Thanks for finding something about me to create art about’? “Hey, speaking of muses, wanna check out some of our different tattoo styles? Maybe get a clearer idea of what you might like to get as a first tattoo?” He offered his hand, and Cas took it gingerly.

“Okay,”

“Again, you don’t need to feel pressured at all. Tattoos are a very personal thing,”

“Do you all have tattoos?” Cas glanced around. Charlie and Sam nodded. Sam pulled his shirt down to reveal his left pec muscle. He had a black ink pentagram surrounded by a ring of fire.

“First tattoo, Dean and I both have it. It’s an inside joke, about keeping our demons at bay and away from our heads,” He shrugged.

“Oh, you’ve got the same?” Cas tilted his head as he smiled at Dean. Dean gave Cas a flirtatious smile.

“You just want to see me shirtless, don’t cha, babe?”

“Wait,” Charlie exclaimed. “You _haven’t_ seen Dean shirtless? Oh, honey, you are missing out on some of the best art on a mildly-attractive body ever.”

“Thanks, Charlie. I think?” Dean squinted.

“Just telling it like it is,”

“How...how many tattoos do you have, Dean?” Cas stared wildly. Dean rubbed his thumb on the top of Cas’ hand again.

“Well, you saw the six I’ve got on my arms. Then there’s the one on the chest...the ones on my back...my ribs...my legs...so about twelve so far, but I’m going to get more.” He grinned at Cas’ hungry gaze. “I wanna be covered in tattoos,”

“That’s...that’s pretty cool,” Cas looked Dean up and down. Dean raised his eyebrow, biting down on his bottom lip. Cas tracked the slow movement, his tongue wetting his lips.

“Oh my God, guys, don’t make me get the spray bottle!” Sam yelled. Dean shook his head to break out of Cas’ trance.

“Sorry, Sammy,” He flashed his brother a grin. He wasn’t sorry at all. “Come on, Cas. We’ve got an extensive collection of our drawings in the back room,”

“You guys better not have sex in the private room, Dean! You’ve got your apartment just upstairs, for Christ sakes,” Sam hollered as Dean lead Cas down the hallway. Dean let out a low chuckle. Cas squeezed Dean’s hand.

“Sorry about that,” Dean shot over his shoulder before opening up the door to the backroom. It was a simple four-walled room with a leather chair sitting at a desk and a little swivel chair sitting in the middle of the room. Dean took a seat on the swivel chair and gestured towards the desk, where ten full folders were sitting. “Go on, have a flick through,”

“Why don’t you guys have this in the front room?”

“We normally do, but since it’s a quiet day, we’re just keeping them in here,” Dean shrugged. Cas opened up one of the books, and before long, he lost himself in the different styles and designs. Cas hesitated on one picture, and Dean noticed. He was focused on a single blue-black feather that faded into a mass of tiny blue stars, the colours blending so smoothly, it was like the feather and stars were shining in the picture.

“Dean, who drew this?” Cas’ voice was soft.

“Ah, that’s...that’s mine. I drew that one, fairly recently, actually,” Dean scratched the back of his neck.

“It’s gorgeous,”

“I’m glad you like it,” Dean let out a nervous breath. “It’s, uh...it was inspired by you. That blue is the closest I could get to your eye colour, and the black is your hair, and I dunno, man, when I think of you, I think of...like, a constellation of stars and...” He dropped his gaze.

“Dean,” Cas’ voice was insistent. He took in a deep breath before bringing himself to look into those blue eyes and was welcomed with a radiant smile. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Castiel.” Dean reflected Cas’ smile. He reached out and brushed his thumb on Cas’ cheek. “So, what were you thinking for a first tattoo? Like, tell me all of the ones you’ve considered but backed away from.”

“Okay, well there’s...” There was a knock on the door, and Cas jumped. Dean reached for his hand and gave it a comforting squeeze.

“Yeah?” He called out.

“Uh, there’s a walk-in. They’re specifically asking for you,” Sam’s voice sounded unsure. “They said they’re not a novice with tattoos, and they were wanting to discuss a large job,”

“Does he look serious?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess? He’s an older guy, smells like smoke, probably a biker guy,”

“Alright, I’ll be out in a moment,” Dean turned to Cas. “Do you want to continue looking at pictures while I see this dude?”

“No, it’s okay. I just want to hang around you, see how you work. You get to watch me work all the time, now the tables have turned,” Cas winked. Dean laughed.

“Suit yourself, honey-bee,” Cas gave him a strange look. “Too weird?”

“Uh, just...unexpected? But, kinda cute?” He shrugged.

Together they exited the room, and came face to face with Ishim, standing politely at the front desk.


	5. We Don't Talk Anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is actually incredibly fluffy and sweet, aside from the first bit of nasty uncomfortableness that is Ishim. Enjoy! Had a lot of fun with the text messages in this one!

Cas felt his stomach fold in on itself at the sight of Ishim. He tried to make himself as small and invisible as possible, hiding behind Dean’s body. Dean noticed and shifted his footing to shield Cas from sight even more.

“Hey man, what can I do for you?” Dean was the perfect image of civility, but Cas could see his back was tense, ready for a fight. Sam seemed to notice the heat magnifying from Dean, and casually leaned against the staff side of the counter to Dean’s left. Ishim gave Dean a grin that was all teeth.

“Well, Gabriel managed to give me a quick smoke break, and I figured I’d pop in to see if I can organise a session, Dean,”

“Sure, Ishim. What were you thinking of getting done? Is this your first?” Ishim let out a low chuckle.

“Oh, man, no way. These shirts hide everything, am I right, Castiel?” He stepped to the side to peer over Dean’s shoulder. Cas’ face paled. “He knows, I’m _covered_ in tats.”

“That’s cool,” Dean’s voice came out low. “What were you thinking of getting done?”

“Was thinking of a neck tattoo, with these words. It’s from a Beyonce song,” He pulled out a piece of loose-leaf from his pockets and spread the sheet neatly out on the counter. It was a really pretty cursive script that said: ‘You know you’re my saving grace’. Cas let out a quiet gasp, and Dean shot a curious glance over his shoulder before turning back to Ishim.

“You want lyrics to a Beyonce song tattooed on your neck?”

“The song means so much to me, and so much to one of the most important relationships in my life.” Cas’ stomach churned again, and his hands went clammy and started to shake. The room started to get brighter than normal, and Cas reached out to cling to Dean’s shirt. Dean straightened his back at the touch and gave Ishim a curt nod.

“Sure, but I’m not comfortable doing necks, that’s Sam’s speciality. So, if you want to go ahead with the tat, Sam’s your man for that particular one,” He turned to gesture to his brother. Ishim’s grin faltered, and Sam took the reins of the conversation to talk about pricing and what’s expected. Dean remained right where he was the whole conversation, except he placed his hands behind his back. Cas took hold of both of them in a vice grip, and Dean just let him.

“Thank you for your time, Sam. Dean, thank you for your honesty. The last thing I’d want to do is make a tattoo artist do something they’re not comfortable doing,” Ishim gave the brothers a winning smile. “I’ll mull it over and get back to you with an available time. Hope you’re doing well, everybody. And Cas,” He side-stepped to peer over Dean’s shoulder again, and his civil smile turned into something darker. “I’ll be seeing you, angel.”

Cas felt Dean’s hands strain against his iron-clad grip. Ishim noticed, and let out a low chuckle before exiting the building. As the door swung shut, nobody moved. The silence hung over everyone like the cigarette smoke that clung to Ishim’s clothes.

“Well,” Charlie let out a low whistle. “That was...intense,” More silence. Dean had stopped straining against Cas’ grip and gave him a gentle squeeze. Cas loosened his hold, and Dean’s hands slipped away. He turned to Cas, green eyes swimming with worry.

“Are you okay?” He let out a heavy breath. “Thank you for holding onto me. I was gonna...well, I don’t know exactly, but I wanted to punch him.”

“Dean...” Cas breathed. Everything started to spin. Dean pulled Cas into his arms.

“You’re okay. You’re okay, sweetheart. You’re safe,” He murmured. “Do you want to stay with me tonight?”

“No, I think I’m going to catch up with Gabriel for dinner tonight. There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to him about,” Cas put his hand on Dean’s cheek. “Thank you, though.”

“Are you sure you’re okay? You look pale, honey,” Dean shot a look at Sam, who ducked under the counter and pulled out a bottle of chilled water. Dean took it and offered it to Cas. “Please,” He guided Cas to the office chair, and he sat him down. “Drink, slowly though.” Cas did as he suggested.

“Who was he?” Charlie leaned against the counter.

“That...” Cas breathed after gulping down a mouthful of water. “Was my ex.”

“Oh,”

“Yeah.” Cas went back to drinking the water.

“I don’t really want to do the tattoo, truth be told,” Sam crossed his arms.

“We can refuse him service, say it’s too dangerous,” Dean rubbed his hands into Cas’ shoulders.

“It’s up to you, Dean. I don’t mind either way. We’d make double that money tomorrow alone.”

“Nah, man, it’s up to you. You’re the one doing the tattoo,”

“Dean,” Sam glared. “No. The...tension here, that’s all you. We’re partners in this. If you don’t like someone and don’t want to do them a service, for whatever reason, I’ll respect it.” The silence came back as Dean was considering it. Cas came back enough from his dizzy spell to respond.

“If it helps your decision at all, what I’m going to be talking to Gabriel about tonight will most definitely get Ishim fired. He...did something while on the clock that won’t fly by Gabe. He did a lot of things Gabriel won’t be okay with, but at least from a business stand-point...” He paused to take a deep breath. His heart was racing to make up for the messed-up intake of oxygen to his lungs. “He won’t be hanging around for much longer, is basically what I’m saying.” He choked out. Dean pressed a soft kiss to the top of Cas’ head.

“That does help, Cas. Thank you,” Dean turned to Sam. “Don’t serve him, and if he comes in the store again when I’m not here, kick him out.” Sam nodded solemnly. Tears sprung up in Cas’ eyes. He didn’t deserve their concern, but he appreciated it all the same.

**********

Dean found himself itching to do something, _anything_ to distract himself from thinking about what Cas and Gabriel are talking about over dinner. He tried asking Sam and Jess over, but they were headed over to her parents’ place for the night. He asked Charlie if she and Jo wanted to distract him with a _Star Wars_ marathon and junk food, but they had a date night planned weeks ago. Far be it from Dean to encroach on their romantic plans, but he couldn’t help wishing he could be doing romantic plans with Cas at the very moment Cas was probably talking about something very decidedly _un_ -romantic.

“Fuck it, a party of one, right here,” Dean murmured as he poured himself a shot of whiskey and flicked through his Spotify playlist on his laptop. He learned after the first night Cas was over, it’s better to have his music playing from his laptop instead of his phone, least he gets a call. He hovered over Cas’ playlist and clicked on it. The playlist has been updated in the last few days. Dean smiled as he recognised a few of the sappy love songs, like ‘Take Me to Church’ and ‘Give Me Love’. He hit shuffle, and the deep haunting voice of Hozier filled his loungeroom. Dean smiled as he moved his head to the music.

“Only heaven I’ll be sent to is when I’m alone with you...” Dean sang low with the beat. He wasn’t a bad singer. He just had no proper training. Sam loved to pick on him and tell him he sounds like a dying cat, but he’d had enough people tell him he has a voice like an angel, so he honestly doesn’t know who to believe. Although now he thinks of it, the people who told him he sang well were all just women and men who were trying to sleep with him.

They succeeded in their endeavours, but that’s beside the point. He threw his shot back and swayed his hips to the music as the alcohol hit his throat. He was allowed to get piss-drunk if he wanted to, but he also knew that if he drank too much, he’d end up drunk-texting Cas and that was _not_ going to go down well. He danced around the living room, looking at his bookcase. It was quite bare, but he had a few classics there. Charlie straight-up refused to speak to Dean until he read the _Harry Potter_ books, so he went out and bought all seven of them second-hand a year ago, and practically devoured the books within a week. Of course, _The Hobbit_ and _The Lord of The Rings_ trilogy were staples, and have been by his side since he was a child. He also had a very battered copy of Kurt Vonnegut’s _Slaughterhouse-Five_ that he stole from his school library when he was fourteen. But that was as far as Dean’s literature collection expanded. He’d been informed he needed to read more, by Sam and Charlie on countless occasions, and Cas had also made a few quips about it, because ‘Dean, you’re dating a writer who works in a bookshop, come on, of course, I’m going to push for you read more’. Right now, with Cas’ playlist blaring, he found himself wishing he had new books.

He threw back another shot of whiskey and pulled out his phone. _The only_ _text I’m sending to Cas tonight_. He couldn’t help snorting at his stupid hopeful brain. “Fat fucking chance, Winchester.”

_Hey, hope you’re doing well. Listening to your playlist at the moment, and finding myself wanting to read new books. What have you done to me? Sam’s gonna have to send you some flowers or some shit. Opening up my world and all that jazz. Anyway. I’m having a few drinks, so please disregard any and all future messages from me tonight. They are coming from a lonely dick who misses you more than strictly necessary. Tell Gabe I said hi. Get home safe xxx_

With that, Dean threw his phone onto his couch and pulled out the Cab-Sav from behind his whiskey bottles, and filled a wine glass. At least with red wine, he’ll take it slower. Right?

**********

Cas threw his keys on his kitchen counter and rubbed his face in frustration. It was half-past midnight. The conversation with Gabriel was...too long and emotionally heavy, to say the least. The number of times he had to talk Gabriel out of driving over to Ishim’s house and beating the shit out of him had Castiel mildly concerned. But at least Gabe gave him tomorrow off so Cas didn’t have to be in the same room when Gabriel fired Ishim. That was something he was terrified of witnessing.

He fished out his phone from his jeans pocket. It’d been going off every now and then after he received Dean’s cautionary message about drunk-texting. He wasn’t kidding, Cas thought, as his phone told him he had ten missed messages from the man. And a missed phone-call with a voicemail. Cas put his phone on his bed and quickly got out of his clothes and into his old Hogwarts shirt and torn tracksuit pants. Meg climbed up and got under the covers with Cas, and he started to read them.

_Hi, sorry, hope I’m not bothering you. But I’ve broken out the Cab-Sav. Was kinda saving it for you and me to share, but that’s okay. We can buy a new bottle._ (Sent: 8:06pm)

_I miss you, man. This wine tastes great, and I’m really liking your playlist. Okay I’ll stop messaging you now._ (Sent: 8:25 pm)

_Holy sshit Cas, Taylor Swift is ducking awesome._ (Sent: 9:04 pm)

_Fucking*_ (Sent: 9:10 pm)

_I mean, we can do that if you want ;)_ (Sent: 9:40 pm)

_Oh my god, I promize I wasn’t trying to proposition you, Cas. I just wanted to tell yOU TAYLOR SwIFT IS IMCREDIBLE._ (Sent: 10:01 pm)

_I just listened to her album folklore and IM crying and i miss you please come home to Me, Cas, I want to draw stars around your scars but i wont let you bleed like James did_ (Sent: 11:10 pm)

_I think IM falling in love with You, shh Don’t tell sober Me hehehe_ (Sent: 11:20 pm)

_oh my god I said it. I can’t beliefve I told you that. ihgnore that message pleaseee_ (Sent: 11:24 pm)

_Cas I always need you_ (Sent: 11:57 pm)

Cas’ heart melted, but his brain started whirring. Wasn’t it way too soon to be admitting feelings like that? Maybe he’s not even in love, he just thinks he is. He opened up the voicemail to distract his thoughts.

_“Hey baby. Sssorry it’s so late, but I just wanted to tell you I love your eyes, and your smile makes me melt inside. You make me want to know everything and you make my world so, so, so bigger. I’ve had bad experiences, very very bad things...things have happened. But I’m starting to see...it’s like what Taylor said...’Hell was the journey but it brought me heaven’. That’s you. You’re tied to the other end of that invisible string. You’re my truth, too. Castiel. I used to question what was real. But I know. We are._ ”

For the first time in six months, Cas had no nightmares. For the first time in six months, Cas fell asleep with thoughts of Dean. Only Dean.


	6. death bed (coffee for your head)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, the hangover...poor Dean...

Dean woke up on his loungeroom rug with a high-pitched ringing in his ears, and his laptop playing Castiel’s playlist. He never thought he’d wake up to Taylor Swift cheering about her lover making her heartbeat skip down 16th Avenue, but since meeting Cas, he’s had so many new experiences, he’s not even going to question it anymore.

He sat up and stretched. At least drunk him had the decency to pull the couch blanket over himself, and rest on one of the fluffy pillows Jo insisted he buys for his couch because ‘nobody wants to sit on a bland couch, Dean.’ Dean’s phone made a loud ping noise, and his stomach lurched from both nervousness and in protest of last night’s one-man party. He hoped he didn’t send too many texts to Cas last night. There was a vague memory of listening to a full Taylor Swift album, and sobbing his heart out if his burning eyes were anything to go by. Dean reached for his phone resting on the coffee table, and his stomach lurched again. That time was _definitely_ in protest of the alcohol, but Dean was nothing if not stubborn. He hasn’t thrown up from a hangover in five years, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to start now.

You’re adorable when you’re drunk, Dean, but you’re probably cursing yourself right now. If you’re up for it, I’m going to be cooking a big greasy breakfast, and you are welcome to my medicine cabinet. We can watch a movie if you want, or you can have a look through my bookcase for a book to read. Also, please don’t be so hard on yourself today. I appreciated your messages. They were exactly what I needed to read after my discussion with Gabe. Come over whenever you’re ready, love. <3 xx (Sent 10:28 AM)

Dean ignored the way his heart decided it was an Olympic rhythmic gymnast going for the gold at the pet name and the heart emoji. He scrolled up to read the messages he had sent Cas last night, and his gymnast's heart stumbled as his gaze tripped over the words ‘I think I’m falling in love with you’. No gold for you, sir. You fucked up, man. He pressed the call button next to Cas’ name.

“Good morning, Dean,” Cas’ voice still sounded fairly tired and like he was gargling gravel in his sleep. Dean’s stomach lurched yet again.

“Uh, morning,” His voice cracked, and blush coloured his face as he heard Cas’ warm laugh spill through the phone.

“You sound completely fucked up, have a big night?”

“Fuck off, Novak,” He murmured. Cas continued to laugh. “I’m gonna have a shower and try not to throw up. Are you honestly offering a big breakfast?”

“Well, if you take long in the shower, it might look more like a brunch-lunch deal. But I don’t particularly want to leave the apartment today, so unless you have a better option...?”

“I will never have a better option than you, Cas,” Dean was impressed with how casual he made it sound because he was filled with metallic butterflies cutting up his insides. “Okay, going to have a shower, and I’ll be over soon. I’ll bring my allergy pills too because you can bet your ass I’m going to make Meg fall in love with me,”

“She’s incredibly picky, and also extremely territorial with me. So, I wish you best of luck on your hopeless endeavour,” There was a quiet meow from Cas’ phone, and Dean let out a laugh.

“She knew we were talking about her, didn’t she?”

“Like I said, extremely territorial,” Cas had picked Meg up, judging by the loud purring pouring through the speaker. “She’s probably going to hide away from you, just so you know. Also, how bad are your allergies? Because I can come over to you if you want,”

“Nah, they’re not too bad. Probably won’t even need to take ‘em, but better safe than sorry.”

“If it helps, she’s brushed weekly, and I have an air purifier going whenever I’m home. I’ve heard light-coated females are less likely to trigger a reaction, too, if that helps,”

“I’ll be fine. Besides, I only have a mild reaction. Probably won’t even register with me. I’ll see you at around half-past eleven,”

“Okay, I’ll see you soon, love.” There goes Dean’s heart again, flipping and tripping all over the place. They hung up, and Dean jumped into the shower to wash off the uncomfortable sweats. As he was drying his hair, it occurred to him he needed coffee in an IV before even considering seeing Cas, and he knew Cas had a particular love for Perdition Fiction’s double-shot mochas. He smiled at himself in the mirror.

**********

It was a relatively quiet day in Perdition Fiction, with more people outside enjoying the August sunshine than being indoors drinking coffee and reading books. Since Dean was still horribly hungover, he walked in rocking his knock-off Ray-Bans to keep the bright lights from blinding him.

“Looking good, Winchester,” Gabriel let out a whistle. Dean gave him a tight smile, pulled off the glasses, and approached the register to wait to be served.

“Thanks, man. Not feeling all that hot though,” He called over the machine’s loud whirring.

“Cas did mention something about mixing red with whiskey. That’s not the brightest decision you’ve ever made,”

“Yeah, well, I was lonely, so sue me.” The customers in front of him moved on, and Dean came face-to-face with Ishim, who gave him a raised eyebrow.

“What, Cas wasn’t there to keep you warm last night?” He smirked, and Dean felt a shot of ice run through his veins.

“Let’s not do this today, Ishim. Can I just have a large latte, and a large double-shot mocha?”

“Ooh, that’s Cas’ drink. Are you seeing him today?” Ishim rang the price through the system and kept a mild expression as Dean remained silent. Dean paid with his card and stood off to the side to wait for his drinks. “When you see him, tell him I miss him, will you? He’s probably been thinking of me, missing me,”

“No, actually, he hasn’t. Barely even mentions you,” Dean moved to stand over near the Classics section in the store. Perhaps there’s a book here Cas might recommend for him...

“Doubt it, I was the greatest he’d ever had, don’t think he’d forget to mention that in a hurry,” Ishim came around from the counter. “Has he told you how I made him pass out from exhaustion one time?”

“As I said, you don’t come up,”

“Oh sure, he’s probably a generous lover, doesn’t want you to feel inferior,” Ishim leaned up against the bookshelf Dean was studying, a slimy grin on his face. “You guys _have_ fucked, right? It’s been, what, two weeks? He probably spread his legs for you on the first night, the whore.” Dean shut his eyes and took in deep breaths. The ice in his veins had turned into lava flowing, rushing to his fists, but he continued to focus on the books. Focus on the books, Dean. Look at the titles. _Alice in Wonderland, Pride and Prejudice, The Great Gatsby, The Call of The Wild_... “Holy shit, he _hasn’t_ given up the goods yet, hasn’t he? Wow, that’s impressive, man. Honestly, though, you’re not missing much. Although, I have to admit, the sounds he made when he was sucking on my c-“

“Ishim, what the hell are you doing? You’re still on the clock, and I need help,” Gabriel yelled from the coffee machine. Sure enough, Dean noticed there was a queue forming in front of the register. He knows he shouldn’t, but the opportunity was too precious to pass up.

“Off you go. Daddy’s calling.”

John Winchester was a horrible father, but he had one sliver of a redeeming quality. He taught his boys how to fight. Not just that. He taught them how to defuse a situation, and if that didn’t work, John taught his boys how to _win_. So, Dean saw this one coming.

Ishim froze, and swung his fist towards him, and Dean knew what he had to do. This was Gabriel’s out, this was what would get Cas free from this prick, once and for all. He let Ishim’s fist connect with his cheek. All he could do was follow through with the hit, absorb as much of the momentum as possible.

The punch helped confirm one thing, however. Dean was a good judge of character. Ishim fucking sucked at throwing a punch. Dean’s going to have a dark bruise near his chin for two hours and it’ll fade. He got a worse bruise from the only punch Sam ever threw at Dean. Sam was _nine_.

The shop was dead silent. Dean looked at Ishim, who looked like he was close to boiling point. But Dean wasn’t scared of Ishim. It was Gabriel’s dark expression from over Ishim’s shoulder that struck fear in Dean’s heart.

“Ishim. Get out. Leave.” Gabriel’s voice was level, which sent alarm bells peeling in Dean’s head. He _never_ spoke like that. Gabriel normally sounded like he’d been hopped up on sugar and helium, warm like a hot chocolate when he’s chatting with Dean. Ishim let out a loud huff and threw his apron on the floor in front of Dean, who still kept a straight face. The door slammed loudly, and everybody in the shop remained silent. “Sorry everybody,” Gabriel hadn’t quite brought back his normal jovial voice, but it was a little perkier. “Just bear with me for a moment, if that’s alright,” There was a small peel of positive responses and Dean watched Gabriel walk over to him. “Are you alright, Dean?” Gabriel’s voice was low, so only Dean could hear him.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” His voice came out shaky, though. “The way he was talking about Cas, I’m sorry, Gabe, I couldn’t help what I said,” Gabriel raised his eyebrow.

“What’d you say?”

“Daddy’s calling,” That earned him Gabriel’s trademark cocky grin. “Thought you’d appreciate it.”

“Yeah I do, for more reasons than you think,”

“Gave you a good out, didn’t I?” Dean smirked. Gabriel nodded. “Are you going to be alright without him?”

“Oh shit yeah. Already asked Michael last night if he wanted to help cover for the rest of the day. Knew he was going to be fired, one way or another. Don’t want Cas to be in the shop today,” Gabriel raised his eyes to the ceiling. “How he managed to keep working around him for so long is...nothing short of insane to me.” He gestured to the cake display. “Take whatever you want, free of charge,” He raised his voice a little so the other customers could hear him. “I assure you, Ishim won’t be working here again. Please don’t think I would let people who assault customers be welcome here. If you want to press charges against him, I am happy to provide anything you need.”

“I...” Gabriel gave Dean a sharp look. “Thank you, Gabe. I’ll be in touch soon.”

**********

Dean fiddled with the coffee cup in the takeaway coaster in the alleyway outside Castiel’s door. He downed his coffee while the mini apple pie and the slice of honey butter cake were packaged carefully into plastic containers back at the store. Gabriel didn’t say anything to Dean’s curious look at the cake, just raised his eyes to the roof and gave Dean a wink.

As he stood in the warm daylight, shades back on to cover his eyes, Dean could feel the left side of his face starting to puff up slightly. The door swung open. Everything that had happened earlier was completely worth it to see Cas’ wide grin.

“Hi,” Dean gave him a coy smile, and his left cheek started to sting at the movement. Cas noticed the slight wince and squinted.

“You’re hurt,” He spoke softly.

“Tis but a flesh wound,” Dean cringed at Cas’ blank stare. “’Monty Python’? Come on, man,”

“Is that the one that’s a rip-off of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table?”

“Cas, if I had a free hand, I would hold my chest in pain. It’s a classic, is what it is. And you best believe I’m getting you to watch it with me sometime,” He gestured to the coffee. “Got you some java, drank mine earlier. I knew I needed to have some caffeine before I could even pretend to be a proper member of human society, and I remember you saying that one time your favourite was Gabriel’s double-shot mocha, so,” He shrugged.

“You went into Perdition Fiction?”

“Yeah, and it was worth it,” He flashed Cas a quick grin, pointedly ignoring the screaming pain from the side of his face. “Might even tell you about it, if you want.” Cas stood to the side to let Dean inside. He followed Cas up the flight of stairs to his apartment door, and immediately put the coffee and cakes down on the first tabled surface he could find, along with his sunglasses. Before Cas could say anything, Dean pulled Cas into a big hug, pressing his face into Cas’ shoulder.

“Oh, okay,” Cas breathed, pressing his smiling lips to Dean’s head. “Hello, Dean.” Dean pulled his head back to face Cas, and he leaned in for a kiss. Cas chased his lips and returned his kiss with relish, tilting his head slightly. Dean brought his hand to Cas’ cheek as they parted, and rubbed his thumb softly into Cas’ five-o’clock shadow.

“You have no idea how much I needed that, sweetheart,” Dean smiled. Cas brought his hand up to the left side of Dean’s face slowly, and Dean dropped his gaze. “I have good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?”

“Bad news first,” Cas whispered.

“Your boyfriend was punched in the face,” Dean flashed a cocky grin at Cas’ deadpan glare.

“And the good news?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Your ex has been fired for assaulting a paying customer.”

“Oh.” Dean watched as the array of emotions flickered in Cas’ eyes. He settled on a cautious smile. “That _is_ good news, however,” He stroked Dean’s cheek again. “He was going to be fired anyway,”

“I didn’t go in there to get punched if that’s what you’re suggesting. Besides,” Dean scoffed. “The prick can’t even throw a punch properly. This?” He gestured to his puffed face. “It’ll fade in two hours, tops. Weak-ass bitch.”

“What did you do to warrant getting punched?” Cas let go of Dean and gestured towards the kitchen. Dean took a moment to take in Cas’ apartment. It was as chaotic as his bedroom looked from Dean’s perspective in his room, but it was organised chaos. Dean could tell everything had a purpose― the bookcases that filled the entire wall behind him was stuffed to the brim, with sheets of paper sticking out from the tops and bottoms of certain books; the kitchen was covered with sprawling greenery that seemed to be thriving from the large window in the roof showing the sky above...Dean was taken aback at how unimpressive his place looked in comparison.

“Holy shit, Cas. We’re hanging out at yours more often. This is awesome,” Dean glanced around, noticing the empty cat bed and the cat tree near the TV that was sorely lacking a cat. “Where’s your girl?”

“Meg’s probably off sleeping on my bed, honestly. She’s shy, I told you that,”

“No, you told me she was territorial,” Dean quirked his eyebrow, stalking back towards Cas. “So, if I was to draw attention to the fact I’m here...do you think...”

“Dean, whatever you’re thinking of doing, I strongly advise against it, she will attack you,” Cas couldn’t keep the slight giggle out of his voice. Dean lunged and wrapped his arms around him, pressing his lips to Cas’ neck. He ran his fingers through Cas’ already fucked-up hair, gently raking his nails down his back, listening to the quiet moans breaking from Cas’ mouth. Dean smirked as he saw the blue of Cas’ eyes disappear behind his blown-out pupils. Dean felt a tugging on his jeans and glanced down to see two large amber-brown eyes glaring at him.

“Oh hi there, Meg,” He smiled. “I promise I’ll take good care of...of...” Dean sneezed. Meg dug her claws deeper into his jeans, and Cas knelt to coax her off of him. He stayed down on his knees, nursing the cat as Dean dug into his pockets to pull out his antihistamines. “So, uh, turns out I’m a little more sensitive then I thought, but hey, there are ways around that.” He popped one of the little pills in his mouth and swallowed it dry. “I can look at getting immunotherapy if it gets really bad, but I’m fairly sure I only get the stupid sneezing, no puffy eyes or hives or anything like that. Fairly mild.”

“You’d do that?” Cas looked up, his pupils still slightly blown-out, but Dean couldn’t ignore Meg’s tail curling around Cas’ neck.

“Well, yeah,” He tilted his head. “Of course.”

“I...wow.”

“What?”

“Was honestly thinking that was going to be a make-or-break thing. I was nervous about you meeting her, truth be told,”

“Well, yeah. She’s your baby. Just wait until I show you my car,” Cas squinted at him.

“Pretty sure a living animal is a little bit more important than a car,”

“You haven’t seen Baby yet, you don’t know what you’re saying,” He winked. “But she is cute, I have to hand it to her. Almost as cute as her owner,”

“She _is_ really cute, she....oh.” Cas blushed, and Dean felt his heart melt all over again. Yeah, definitely worth getting punched for.


	7. Delicate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a bit of a break, just wanted to give myself some time to think about the story a little bit more. After this chapter, I'm going to have to add in a few more specific warnings, and I promise I'll put appropriate warnings at the beginning of the chapter too.
> 
> Enjoy!

The next three weeks disappeared before Cas’ even registered they were happening. One moment, he was grumbling about the hot early August sun, the next, he learned it was going to be his birthday in less than a month. He couldn’t help but grumble and whine about it to whoever would listen, and the only one with the patience to listen to him was Dean.

“I can’t believe I’m going to be twenty-five,” He sighed wistfully, and Dean smirked as he pressed his lips to Cas’ cheek.

“Gonna have a big birthday party?” He murmured close to Cas’ ear. They had hidden away from the blistering heat, under the air-conditioning of Cas’ apartment. Cas decided he wanted to hang fairy lights around his TV, and he needed someone to distract Meg while he hung them up out of her reach. Dean was all too eager to help, but his attempt to draw Meg away from the glittering lights ended in a bitten hand and profanity colouring the air. Once he finished checking Meg didn’t break the skin, Dean took control of hanging the lights while Cas danced around the room with Meg in his arms. Cas cooed over her, but Dean maintains she shot the cat-equivalent of an evil grin at Dean with every chance she got. Luckily, Cas must’ve felt bad about dancing with Meg, because as soon as Dean was done, he was pulled into Cas’ arms and they started swaying to Dan and Shay singing about how the taste of tequila brings back memories.

“Mike, Luci, Gabe and Anna want to throw me a big party, but they’re struggling to work out where to have it. Gabe wants it at the shop, but there’s not enough space. Mike and Luci want it at their bar, but I don’t want them to have to shut down shop just to do that. I don’t want them to go to such extremes and I-”

“You’re too polite to tell them any of this, aren’t you?” Dean cocked an eyebrow. Cas bit his lip, and Dean grinned. “Well, how about this? We have your party at Crowley’s place. There’s enough space to hold 300 people if you wanted, but I get the feeling that’s probably not going to be the case,”

“That’s a good idea. Gabriel said he wants to invite all the family, including the cousins and second-cousins. So, that’s easily 150 right there,”

“Oh, okay, Jesus Christ, I keep forgetting you’ve got a big family,” Meg latched herself to Cas’ pants, crawling up to intrude on the sway session. Dean snuck a hand onto her head and scratched gently. Cas and Dean both looked in awe as Meg started purring and leaning into Dean’s hand. She must’ve noticed the silence because she looked up to see Dean petting her. Meg squinted, dropped away from Cas, and slunk off to the bathroom, no doubt questioning her very existence.

“Holy shit,” Cas breathed. Dean looked down at his hand in awe.

“Did...did I just pat her and _not_ get scratched for touching her?”

“I think you’re growing on her, babe,” Cas pressed his hand into Dean’s cheek, watching the proud smile grow into a wide grin.

“Hell yeah!” He did a dramatic fist-bump. “We’re making progress! Pretty soon, you won’t be able to keep her away from me,”

“I don’t think I’ll be waking up to her purring away on your chest any time soon,”

“I mean...we can find out,” Dean waggled his eyebrows. Cas raised one of his. “I’m just saying,” He wrapped his arms around Cas’ waist, pulling him in close enough so he knew Cas could feel him breathing. “I haven’t had a chance to crash here, yet. You got to stay over at mine the first night we met,”

“I remember,” Cas stroked his thumb down Dean’s cheek.

“And you _know_ I love your place. But of course,” Dean ran his hands up and down Cas’ back gently. “Entirely up to you. Happy to wait,”

“Hold on,” Cas tilted his head. “You’re not just talking about staying the night, are you?” Dean let out a low chuckle.

“Well,” He smirked. “There’s stay the night and then there’s _stay the night_ ,”

“Oh,”

“Oh.” Dean winked. “Like I said, up to you, I’m still happy to wait. But so you’re aware,” He lightly pressed his nails into Cas’ shirt as he continued to move up and down his back. “I am _all in_ , and always will be.” He pressed his lips to Cas’ forehead softly.

Instead of pulling away, however, his lips followed a path over his eyebrow, down the side of his face, across his cheek-bone and settled on the corner of Cas’ lip. Cas tilted his head slightly, bringing their lips together in a crushing force. The startling noise from the back of Dean’s throat was enough to make Cas pause, but Dean refused to let him break the kiss. He followed through on Cas’ intensity, pulling his hand into his hair and holding the dark locks in his fingers. Dean’s other hand pressed Cas’ hips flush against his, and at the feeling of the bulge in Cas’ front, Dean couldn’t help the needy moan that slipped from his lips. Dean kissed with an insistent hunger, and Cas gave chase. They parted to catch their breath, and Dean couldn’t help feeling proud at how flushed and debauched Cas looked. His eyes were almost glowing, they were so bright. Cas’ face was such a pretty shade of red. His hair was sticking up in every single direction, and Dean couldn’t fight the smug grin on his face knowing _he_ was the reason his hair was messed up this time. “You’re so beautiful, Castiel,” He pressed his thumb softly on Cas’ wanting lips, and Cas ran his tongue over Dean’s thumb shyly. Dean’s heart lurched at the coy look in his eyes, but Dean’s dick twitched for an entirely different reason.

A loud booming knock on Castiel’s front door and Cas jumped in Dean’s arms. The heat in their bodies dissipated as quickly as it had burned up, and Cas glared towards his front door.

“If that is Gabriel, I’m going to punch that fucker in his fucking face,” He mumbled as he untangled himself from Dean’s hold. Dean smirked.

“Hey, it’s okay. Not going anywhere,” He gave Cas a deep kiss, being sure to bite his lips lightly. Cas let out a low moan, and it turned into a loud groan as the knocking came back, insistent this time.

“Okay, okay, I’m coming,” Cas shouted towards the door. Dean couldn’t hold back the giggle, and Cas shot Dean a vicious glare before opening up the door. “Gabriel, you have ten seconds to explain to me why you pulled me away from what might’ve possibly been the best moment of my life,”

“How’d you know it was me?” Dean could hear Gabriel’s jovial voice from the door, and any evidence of Dean having been turned on before disappeared completely with the slightly lower voice that joined in on Gabriel’s complaining.

“Wait, you were about to have sex with my brother or something?” With that, Dean raced over to the door to glare at Sam, who gave Dean a lazy smirk. “Yikes, sorry,”

“Fuck you, bitch,” Dean made sure he made enough venom in his words to wipe the smile off Sam’s face, but Sam laughed.

“What Gabriel and I had come up to ask was, did you two want to come over to Gabriel’s house and use his swimming pool? Jess and I are in, Charlie’s already got her swimming gear loaded in her Beetle, and you can take Cas in that car you’re obsessively in love with. Jerk,” Sam crossed his arms, and Dean beamed at him.

“Hell yeah, you know I’m down,” He glanced over his shoulder at Cas. “What about you, Cas?” Cas bit his lip, considering it. Dean gave him a wolfish grin. “If it helps your decision at all, I have shorts that only come up to here,” He dropped his hand to halfway down his thigh. “So you’ll be able to see _all_ my tats, including that new one Charlie did two and a half weeks ago on my neck,” Dean noticed Cas gaze at his neck longingly, and he knew he had him. “Whattaya say?”

“Absolutely.”

**********

The hot sun was already causing sweat to drip down Dean’s neck, and Cas couldn’t take his eyes off him. He was way too keen to get into Gabriel’s pool, and it had nothing to do with cooling himself down.

“Welcome you two, honestly, thought you guys might’ve gotten lost for an hour or two,” Gabriel waggled his eyebrows. Dean flashed him a wild grin.

“Trust me, I was considering it, but Cas here seems keen to jump into the pool for some reason. No idea why,” He shrugged nonchalantly, but he still held a bemused smile. “Speaking of, where’s best to put our things?”

“You can chuck your stuff on the patio, and you’re welcome to use the guest bathroom to get changed if you’re modest,” Gabriel gave Dean’s tracksuit pants a confused study.

“Oh trust me, Gabe. I’m anything but modest,” Dean shot Cas a wink. “But I’ll still use the bathroom. Why don’t you jump in, Cas? I’ll be there in a moment.”

Cas slowly waded into the blue swimming pool, wearing his board shorts and his long-sleeved sun-top. Sam and Jess had arrived, both already decked out in their swim-wear. Sam had a handful of tattoos, including the flaming pentagram on his chest. He and Jess approached the pool, and Cas could hear the tail-end of their conversation.

“...jump in, go on, Jess. The water isn’t even going to be that cold,”

“No, Sam. You go ahead, but I’ll just go in slowly,”

“Alright, how about a hug?” Sam opened his arms wide.

“I don’t trust you, no. You’re going to jump in with me in your arms,”

“What, no I would never,” Sam gave her a smile Cas believed a puppy would give if they could smile.

“Liar.”

“Push her in, Sam, I dare you,” Jo called from the lounge chair, and Charlie let out a giggle from the giant inflatable swan in the middle of the pool.

“Sam, don’t you dare...” But it was too late. Sam had already wrapped his arms around her, and together they tumbled into the deep. The splash was big enough, it hit Cas across his chest. The high-pitched squeal that reverberated over the pool made Cas wince for Sam. Jess yelled non-sensical complaints until Sam pulled her in for a warm embrace. They seemed to move together with fluidity, like the moon and the waves. He couldn’t help but smile for the happy couple.

“Is there room for one more?” Dean called out from the gate. Cas turned and let out an audible gasp.

His light tan skin glowed in the sunshine, and Cas zeroed in on the tattoos adorning his chest. The flaming symbol he shares with his brother was right over his heart, but there was also a blue-green sea serpent snarling on his ribs. He had four symbols on his hip in a line, and Cas had a distant feeling it had something to do with Led Zeppelin. He dropped his gaze to Dean’s legs, and Dean turned his left leg inward slightly to show the compass decorating his calf. Once Dean was satisfied Cas had seen it, he did the same with his right calf, revealing a symbol Cas recognised as the Rebel symbol from the Star Wars franchise. Dean did a slow turn to show Cas his back, and Cas felt his tongue grow heavy as he spotted the sunburst on his lower back. He traced his sight up Dean’s spine and saw the new tattoo on his neck. It was a Golden Snitch, and Cas smirked. Of course, Charlie did a Harry Potter tattoo for Dean. When he turned around, Cas brought his eyes back to Dean’s face, and Dean gave Cas a devilish grin.

“Like what you see, Novak?”

“I’ll show you how much I like it, Winchester.” Cas waggled his eyebrows, sinking further into the water. Dean let out a loud laugh, but Sam called out over him.

“Disgusting. You two are gross, and I resent my last name being used in a suggestive tone like that,” He was all smiles, however, so Cas chuckled. Dean approached the side of the pool where Sam was wading, and gave Cas a wink, before jumping into the pool to create a water bomb. Splashing his brother right in the face.

Dean didn’t come up from the water though, and Cas could see the streak of his green boardshorts heading straight for him. Hands grasped his legs and Cas fought to stay upright as Dean used his body to pull himself up to the surface. Dean let out a deep gasp for air, water splashing Cas across the face. He shook his head to get the water out of his face, and his green eyes sparkled. Dean was so close, Cas could feel his heavy breathing, so he closed the space between them and pressed their lips together. As they broke apart, Dean gave Cas a wide grin. Cas bit down on his lip to stop the words his brain was screaming at him from tumbling out into the open. He can’t say those words yet. Dean doesn’t know everything about him yet. Once he does, the chance he would walk away is still too high for Castiel’s comfort.

**********

The mercury managed to crack 100 degrees even as the sun faded away, and the roar of the Impala came to a low rumble as Dean pulled the car in. He turned to Cas, who had grown quiet since saying goodbye to their friends.

“You okay, darling?” He stroked Cas’ cheek gently, and he felt Cas lean into his touch.

“Better than ever,”

“What are you thinking about?” Dean continued to stroke his cheek. Cas bit his lip before turning to give him a stare Dean felt right in his soul.

“Would you like to come back to my place and continue what we had started before we were so rudely interrupted?” Dean didn’t know if it was the actual words Cas spoke, the look he gave him, or the fact Cas pitched his voice so low, Dean could _hear_ the scraping in his throat...but his stomach found itself stuck on a rollercoaster and it took his heart along for the ride.

“If you’re sure,” He managed to crack a smile, but even as he did, he felt his stupid lip quiver. Cas answered him by exiting the car, and not even waiting for him as he made his way over to his apartment door. Dean blinked wildly, vaguely wondering if he managed to get sunstroke and this was a fever dream. He saw Cas’ apartment light shine from the kitchen window and decided, fuck it. If this was a fever dream, he was going to chase the high until he fell. He reached into his glove compartment, pulled out his condoms and bit his lip to stop the nervous giggles escaping his lips as he climbed Cas’ stairs.

Music was playing softly from Cas’ bedroom, Meg was growling from the closed bathroom door, and Dean could see Cas had stripped his clothes off as he had made his way to the bedroom, including his underwear right by the crack in his bedroom door. Dean is never one to be outdone by anybody, so he stripped his shirt off and very nearly ripped off his now-bone dry board shorts as he made his way to the door. With both of his stupid sandals finally kicked off, he pushed open the door to see...

...Cas, sitting there, wrapped in a blanket, crying silently. Dean’s brain switched from hot and ready to go, to concerned and protective quicker than lightning.

“Cas?” He spoke softly, so the dulcet tones of All Time Low singing about glitter and crimson could still be heard. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Cas shook his head vehemently, eyes tightly shut. Dean saw a blanket laying on Cas’ floor, so he wrapped his lower half in it before taking a seat next to Cas, still keeping his hands and body to himself. “Talk to me.”

“I’m so sorry, Dean. I’m...” His voice wobbled as he opened his eyes. “I wanted to do this, but then I thought about how dishonest it would be if I didn’t tell you why we had to hold off so long, and why I...” He exhaled deeply.

“It’s okay. You’re safe, and you don’t have to tell me anything you aren’t ready to tell me. I would never think you dishonest, Castiel,” Dean tried to catch Cas’ eyes, but he kept his gaze firmly on the ground.

“You will after I tell you what happened.” Dean remained silent. “You’ll probably hate me once I tell you what I let Ishim get away with.” Cas took in a few deep breaths and then told Dean everything.


	8. Lose You To Love Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting as I worked out the best way to write this chapter out. I was tossing up how best to deal with Cas' backstory delicately, and I decided it would just be easier to give you their honest conversation instead of flashbacks. Let me know what you think, and please also consider checking out my other Supernatural works!
> 
> Also, please note: mentions of past abuse, including emotional manipulation and physical domestic abuse, are in the first half of this chapter. If you want to skip the details, scroll down to the asterisks for the rest of the chapter. All you need to know is Cas went through heavy stuff with Ishim and Dean comforts Cas gently.

“When we first met, Ishim wasn’t anything like how you know him now,” Cas didn’t lift his eyes from the threadbare carpet. It would be easier to tell Dean this way, but he knows he’ll have to monitor Dean’s reactions after a while. “He walked in applying for a job. It was...I think it was March last year. It was still freezing outside, anyway. We hit it off straight away, and he told me I was beautiful, like an angel,” His voice caught. “That was...the first time he called me ‘angel’, and he kept it up for the remainder of our relationship. After our first meeting, he took me out for drinks. We ended up back at his place that night, and, well...” Cas brought his gaze to Dean for the first time, who kept a perfectly stoic expression. Cas cleared his throat before continuing.

“Looking back, I probably shouldn’t have had so many drinks. I don’t think I was completely aware of my decisions. But I told myself for months it was completely consensual and I was sober enough to make the choice.” He dropped his gaze again, determined to continue. “We started officially dating a few days later, and I was...happy. He was so sweet and so protective of me. Whenever I was struggling with something, he’d always be right at my door with flowers and chocolate. But my friend Inias noticed how...off Ishim would get whenever I wore something that might’ve been a bit revealing. He pointed out how defensive Ishim got whenever someone else touched me or looked at me, even strangers,” Cas let out a heavy sigh.

“I wrote it off as him just being protective, and worried he’d lose me. I constantly told him time and time again he’d never lose me, and I probably told him ‘I love you’ a bit too quickly, about a month into knowing each other. He said it first, and I felt duty-bound to tell him the same. Did it without thinking. Again, hindsight’s a bitch,” He let out a low chuckle. “He would tell me things that I...didn’t know whether to believe. I wanted to believe, because why would he lie to me? He loved me, there wasn’t any reason for him to lie. I tried to ask him about it a few times, and he would get...angry.” Cas watched Dean’s eyes for any flicker of emotion, but Dean remained focused on what Cas was saying. He did notice Dean’s hands were twisting the blanket he wrapped himself in. “Throw punches into walls, crying about how much it hurt that I didn’t trust him. So I stopped pushing it. Because I...” He felt his eyes starting to sting. “I didn’t want one of those punches to come at me instead of the wall or the pillows...”

“And we were good again. I introduced him to my family, and my brothers all liked him. Dad wasn’t too fond of him, but I chalked that up to just a general paternal dislike. Didn’t realise it was because Dad always valued honesty, and one of the first things Ishim told Dad was a lie.” Cas shrugged. “Dad also noticed Ishim liked to talk about his knives a lot. He had a...he was attached to his blades, gave them names,” There was a flicker of concern in Dean’s eyes. “He never used them on me,” Cas held up his hands, and the blanket wrapped around his arms slipped to reveal his arms to Dean for the first time. A queasy feeling settled in Cas’ stomach as he watched Dean’s gaze fall to his left arm. His throat constricted as he forced the words out. “At least not at first.” Dean looked back to Cas, tears welling in his eyes.

“Cas...” Dean’s hands twitched, hesitating in mid-air. Cas could see he wanted to comfort him, but Cas didn’t deserve it. He shook his head slightly, and Dean dropped his hand into his lap and waited patiently. Cas took in another deep breath.

“At least there’s only the one scar. It was after I broke it off with him for good.” He breathed slowly, the words feeling like sand in his throat. “About a week or so before we broke up, I was hanging out with Inias, and I could tell he was walking on eggshells around me. He noticed...ah,” Cas exhaled a heavy breath. “He noticed I was pulling my sleeves down constantly, and he’s not the type of person to ignore things like that, so he, uh,” He felt a tear fall down his face, and panic started to well up in his chest. “He pulled my sleeve back and saw the bruises Ishim had left on my forearm,” He could feel his right arm burn with the memory of it.

“I...lied to Inias, but he saw straight through it. Something like ‘don’t give me that “Oh I fell” bullshit, Castiel’, and it was like a slap in the face. I had convinced myself I wasn’t...a victim. That it was just an accident, but Inias,” Cas cracked a genuine smile. “He saved my life, and I’ll never forget it. He told me not to break off with Ishim in private, to do it publicly and with him nearby. Which I did, and it was so freeing,” The tears flowed down his face, and his hands shook violently. “Until I went back to work, and Ishim was there. Gabriel didn’t know we’d broken up, nobody did except Ishim and me. And Inias, I guess, but he was back in Sioux Falls for work. Gabriel had to race out just before we closed, something to do with organising the new place, and he gave me the keys to lock up. I thought Ishim had already gone home at that point. But he,” Cas took in a gulping breath. “He jumped me as I left the store. Held me down and pressed his knife...” Emotions became too hard to control, and he took in too many quick breaths at once.

“Cas,” Dean tentatively touched Cas’ shoulder, and at the crumbling expression on his face, Dean pulled their blankets tightly around both of them before closing the distance between them on the bed. He didn’t hold Cas tight, just enough for him to know he was there. Cas rested his head on Dean’s shoulder, shaking his tears from his face. Dean didn’t say anything, just rubbed slow circles into Cas’ back. He didn’t press for any more, and it worried Cas.

“Dean?” His voice was no more than a whisper. Dean paused in his ministrations before bringing his gaze to the other man’s face. “Say something.” Dean bit his lip, and let out a deep breath.

“I...” He cleared his throat and spoke again. “I believe you, Cas. Nobody has the right to treat you this way.” He gently pressed a kiss to Cas’ forehead. “Thank you for telling me.” Cas started earnestly sobbing into Dean’s chest.

“I’m so sorry, Dean,”

“Hey now,” He continued rubbing soothing patterns into Cas’ back. “I hear your apology, but it’s unnecessary. You have nothing to apologise for, Castiel,” He slowly brought his other hand to Cas’ cheek, wiping away a stray tear. Cas leaned into the touch, and Dean pressed his lips to Cas’ forehead. “I understand you, darling. I’m here.” Cas gave him a watery smile and believed him.

**********

Cas was terrified Dean would keep him at arms’ length after he told him, but Dean refused to leave Cas’ side, except for work. Even then, whenever Dean had the chance to stay in Perdition Fiction, he stuck around until the very last minute. Gabriel yelled at him about ‘taking up other customers’ time and space, so if you’re going to be around here, you better buy something, Winchester!’ So, Dean started asking Cas for book recommendations, much to Sam’s shock.

“Dean, are you... _reading_ To Kill A Mockingbird?” He widened his eyes as Dean shoved the novel under his art.

“Fuck off, Cas said it was good, and I want to...” He didn’t know how to finish that sentence. Sam gave Dean an understanding smile.

“I get it. Jess once recommended Green Day to me, _once_ , and now I can’t get enough of the band,” He shrugged. “Things we do for love, yeah?”

“Well, I, uh,” He felt a blush rising to his cheeks. Sam cocked an eyebrow.

“Or a crush, no need to rush yourself there,”

“Uh, yeah,” Dean rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. “Yeah, he’s somethin’, that’s for sure.”

“Something you want to keep around indefinitely?” Sam gave him an innocent look, and Dean gave him a curt nod.

“As long as he’ll have me, that is.”

“You’ve got it _bad_.”

“Shuddup, bitch.”

“You love me. Oh, by the way, we received another request for a tattoo yesterday, from Ishim,” Sam tilted his head, and Dean felt a hot flash of anger run through his body. Sam must’ve seen the change in Dean’s demeanour. “Of course, we’re just going to ignore it, but he did say he’s coming back into town. Figured you’d appreciate the heads-up,”

“Thanks, Sam. I’ll...” He paused, not sure if he even _wanted_ to tell Cas. He mulled it over, before deciding he won’t bring it up unless necessary. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

“Yup,” Sam looked mildly uncomfortable and glanced down at the art Dean used to cover his book. “Did Cas end up deciding on a tattoo yet?”

“He did, actually,” Dean gave Sam a grateful smile, before pulling up the picture. It was the black-blue feather with the stars that Dean drew for Cas. “I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, and he told me he was wanting to get this tattoo, but only if I did it for him,”

“That’s...wow, man, good drawing.”

“Yeah, so I’m gonna do the tattoo for him, but I also wanted to get him something else too.”

“And something in your eye tells me you already have it wrapped and ready to go, don’t you?”

“...bitch.” Sam let out a cackle, and Dean couldn’t even pretend to be mad at his brother for knowing him so well. “Just for that, I’m not telling you what I got him.”

“Rude. Oh well, I’m going to find out soon enough, anyway. Can’t wait for the party.”

“Same here, but I’m a little nervous. Cas wants me to meet the rest of his family before his party, so it’s not...I dunno, he said something about wanting them to ‘be able to spend time with you, Dean’,” Dean used quotation marks and tried his best to pitch his voice low to match Cas’ cadence.

“Nice. So when Cas says the rest of his family, how much are we talking? I know you said Cas has a big family,”

“It’s just going to be a small dinner with his dad, his brothers and his cousin Balthazar. Anna wanted to be there but she’s stuck in New Jersey until the day before Cas’ party.” Dean shrugged. “Gabe’s gonna be there, so that’s one family member I’ve already won over with my dazzling good looks and witty charm,”

“Don’t know how you managed that,” Sam mumbled, and dodged Dean’s thwack to the head. “But you’ll do okay, man. They’ll adore you just as much as Cas does, no sweat. Just be yourself,”

“That’s not as comforting as you think, Sammy.”

“I beg to differ.” Sam gave him a wide smile, and Dean shrugged again. He supposes he’ll find out soon enough.


	9. the 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is probably the sappiest I've gotten with these two to make up for the heaviness of the previous chapter. Also, I'm excited about Cas' birthday party! Going to be a fun chapter!

Cas didn’t ever believe he’d end up falling in love in autumn. There was something romantic about the other seasons. Winter was romantic to him because the cold meant huddling together for warmth, and he imagined using the fire in his heart to keep his love from the icy wind. Spring was the season for rebirth, and he always pictured how pretty it would be to tie the new buds of flowers to the budding new feeling of growing someone inside his heart. Summer had been constantly dubbed the ‘season of love’, and Castiel captured it as watching love grow stronger with every crash of the wild waves on the beach. But in autumn...

Autumn was the season of death. Even though he knew technically, winter led to the death of leaves, there was something even more devastating to Cas about watching something die slowly. The colours of dead leaves reminded him of a love that withered away to nothing, or even worse, burned off before it even started. There was only warm rainy days, and nights that chilled to the bone. He hated it.

But, since he allowed Dean to understand his past and his scars, he started to see Dean in every part of autumn he previously hated. In the rain-soaked leaves on the pavement, he saw Dean’s heart, his face warm and enticing, splattered with freckles. In the burning woodfires, he smelled Dean’s skin after a warm shower, covered in the scent of cinnamon and apple. In the pumpkin-spiced everything that came about, he tasted Dean’s smile as he tucked into the mini pies Cas baked just for him.

“Cas, you are a god in the kitchen,” Dean declared as he brought yet another mini-pumpkin pie to his lips. “Don’t tell Gabriel I said that,”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Dean. It would break his poor confectionary heart,” It was raining outside, yet again. Dean’s two appointments cancelled on him for another time in the week, and he decided to surprise Cas by buying all of the ingredients to make the pies, and stopping by to see Cas. He had even bought a little cat toy for Meg, which won him some brownie points. Meg only attacked him every half hour, as opposed to every five minutes.

“Oh, hey, I finished the book you told me to read, uh, The Fault in Our Stars?”

“Oh yeah?” Cas gave him a knowing look. “How did you...”

“I threw it across the room,” Dean let out a heavy sigh.

“That’s fair. When I got to that part the first time, I was on a train. A lovely older lady asked me if I was okay, and gave me some chocolate to try and cheer me up,” He shrugged.

“Well, yeah, but like, _what the fuck_ , man? Why would the author do that, get you so invested in the characters, to the point where you think everything is going to be fine? They got through some hardships, but they found each other, and Hazel was so happy, Cas. She was doing so well, and then it just...” Dean’s hand shook as he spoke.

That was it. Cas realised, at that moment, he was in love with the man in front of him. The realisation hit him like a knock-out punch. It terrified him, how quick the emotion swallowed him down. He was in love with Dean Winchester, in his ‘all-or-nothing’ approach to life, his heart worn proudly on his sleeve, his endless passion for every little moment he experiences. Cas had catalogued every little thing he’d learned about Dean into his mind, and they all came bursting out at once. He knew Dean loves pie because it reminds him of his mother. He loves old classic rock because it reminds him of his father, even if their relationship was fraught with pain. Dean’s favourite memory of his brother was him dragging Dean to a Pride parade, and Sam being hit with the biggest glitter bomb. He giggles every time he describes how Sam looked ‘like he got attacked by some PCP-crazed strippers’. He has different smiles for everybody, but Cas’ favourite one was the one he developed just for Cas, in the secret hours of the early morning. Cas knew he was completely lost on that magnetic smile, but he didn’t realise he was caught in its force-field until just now.

“Cas?” Dean took hold of his shoulder and gave it a warm squeeze. He held a tentative look in his eyes. “You alright?”

“I’m...” Cas cleared his throat and gave Dean a smile that he looked in awe of. “I’m wonderful, Dean. You, you’re wonderful. I, uh...” He felt heat colour his cheeks. “Sorry, I was just...I had an epiphany of sorts.”

“A good one, I hope,”

“Oh, yes. Definitely,” Cas took hold of Dean’s hand and squeezed it. “Definitely a good one. But, we should probably get ready to catch up with my family.” He didn’t miss Dean’s nervous gulp, and couldn’t hold back a soft laugh. “Don’t worry, Dean. They’ll fall in love with you,” _Hopefully as quickly as I have_ , he thought, his heart still racing hard.

“Okay.” Dean breathed, and pressed a warm kiss to Cas’ lips. That sweet taste of pumpkin spice became Cas’ favourite memory trigger. But honestly, when it came to Dean, all of the smells and tastes and sights and sounds were his favourite memory triggers. Dean had become his favourite, snuck into Cas’ heart when he wasn’t looking. But Cas doesn’t mind.

**********

Dean checked out the restaurant’s website before they got ready to leave. The restaurant was exactly where he expected a well-to-do family would choose to eat. The space was large and styled with minimalist art on the walls. Everything about the space, from the velvet-upholstered chairs to the grand chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, screamed ‘too expensive for a Winchester’. Even the prices for the kids’ meals made Dean’s head spin, but Cas had assured him on the drive there he was more than happy to pay for their meals.

“After all, you paid for the ingredients for our pies,” He gave Dean such a warm smile in his car, it seized a tender grip on his heart for a moment. But Dean gave him a false stubborn glare.

“Fine, but I’ll pay for the drinks,” He dropped the glare when Cas nodded solemnly. Cas had his playlist hooked up on Dean’s aux cord, and the soft crooning of Taylor Swift and Bon Iver singing about seeing an ex again played through his speakers. Cas had his left hand gently holding Dean’s right while they drove, and Dean found himself wanting to capture the moment in his mind for the years to come.

Too soon, they pulled up in front of the restaurant and made their way into the building. Cas’ hand only dropped from Dean’s so they could get out of the car. There was something in Cas’ conduct as they waited to be seated that set curiosity ablaze in Dean.

“Are you alright, sweetheart?” He gave Cas’ hand a small squeeze. “You seem...I don’t know, there’s just something about you that’s different,”

“Is it a good different?” Cas raised an eyebrow, a small smile playing on his lips as he spotted Gabriel waving them over. Dean considered it for a beat.

“I think so. So you’re good?” He leaned close to Cas’ ear to whisper. Cas turned to give Dean that same glowing smile he gave him earlier today.

“Never been better.”

As they approached the table, Dean felt four hesitant smiles directed at him, and Gabriel gave him a knowing smirk. The men were all dressed in formal casual get-up, and Dean was glad he raced over to his place to put on a button-up shirt before they left. The one sitting on Gabriel’s left had spiky blond hair and looked like he’d been in more than a couple of fights. On Gabriel’s right was a dark-haired man with a serious look in his eye. Across from Gabe, there was an older man with a full beard and black-framed glasses. Next to him was another blond man, but he looked a little more out-there than the first blond, judging by how many buttons he had undone on his dress shirt.

  
The older man got up out of his seat and offered Dean a hand to shake. Dean knew this was Cas’ father, Chuck Novak. Or Carver Edlund, as he was known to the masses. Dean took the shorter man’s hand and felt a nervous grin creep onto his face.

“Dean Winchester,” Chuck gave Dean a more sincere smile. “We’ve heard so much about you,”

“It’s all bad, I made sure of it,” Gabriel quipped. Dean saw Cas held his head in his hand as the rest of the family let out little laughs. Dean turned to Gabriel and raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, did you also tell them you spent my first visit to your store trying to win me over with your ‘Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven’ question?”

“Oh my God, Gabe,” The blonde man on Gabriel’s left, Dean was pretty sure it was Lucifer, thwacked Gabriel’s shoulder. “How shameless can you be?”

“What did you tell him?” The other blonde asked. The English accent told Dean this was Balthazar.

“’No, but I broke a nail crawling out of Hell’.” That earned him a burst of raucous laughter from everybody, and even Cas let out a chuckle. “So,” Dean held out a chair for Cas to sit before he took a spot next to him. “Let’s see if I’ve got this right,” He nodded towards Balthazar. “You’re the cousin, Balthazar,” The blond did a little salute. “You’re Lucifer,” He gestured towards the other blond, who gave him a smirk and a nod. “Which means you’re big brother Michael,” The dark-haired man gave him a curt nod. “Brilliant. Well, it’s lovely to finally meet you all.”

“I can already tell you’re so much better than the other one we met. What was his name again?” Lucifer brought his glass of red wine to his lips. “Lee? Ian?”

“Ishim,” Balthazar rolled his eyes. “My God, he was insufferable,”

“Boys,” Chuck shook his head. “I don’t think Dean wants to hear about our first impressions of Castiel’s ex,”

“Oh no, please,” Dean smirked as the server approached them to take their orders. “I’ve met him, and trust me, I’m not a fan,”

“He punched Dean in my shop,” Gabriel chimed in. That kickstarted a small session of shocked responses and warm laughter. Castiel, to Dean’s surprise, didn’t look uncomfortable at his brothers ripping into his ex. The insults were super entertaining for Dean, and he couldn't help laughing along with the jokes Gabriel and Lucifer made. But Dean still wanted to shift the conversation as their food came out.

“So, Cas tells me you two own a bar?” He cut into his steak delicately. Lucifer gave him a wicked grin.

“Yeah, did he tell you how we got it?” He gestured to the scar on his face.

“Didn’t go into a lot of detail, just that you got into a fight with some bikies and won a bar out of it,” Even Michael looked a little bit more invested in the conversation, sitting forward and smirking. The two of them launched into the full tale, sparing no detail. Dean snuck his hand under the table and held onto Cas’ hand the entire night. The warm smiles never ceased, and Dean felt his guard drop slowly with the family.

By the end of the night, Balthazar left with the promise of swinging by to have a look at the tattoo shop, and Michael and Lucifer told Dean he was welcome to stop by Archangel Arcade whenever he wanted to. Before they left, Chuck said farewell to them by pulling Dean into a hug and whispering in his ear: “You’re good for him”.

“So?” Castiel asked gently as they climbed back into the Impala. His face was a little flushed, and Dean knows he had maybe a little bit too much chardonnay, but the starry look in his eyes still made Death hasten to catch his breath before answering.

“They’re wonderful. I like Balthazar, he seems fond of you, and Michael and Lucifer look like they’d be awesome to hang out with on any occasion. Your dad seems...happy with me, which I’m taking as a big win,” Dean smiled as he watched Cas plug his music in. The opening notes of Hayley Williams’ ‘Simmer’ started playing quietly as they took off back home. “Your place tonight?”

“Yes, please,” Cas gave a happy little sigh, winding down the window to let in the cooling autumn air. Dean still found himself taken aback by just how perfectly Cas managed to fit into his heart. He couldn’t help the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop, but he prayed to any deity listening that there was nothing waiting, that he deserved Castiel and everything he encompasses.


	10. Angel on Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas' birthday is here! I've decided to split the day into parts, probably three, but we'll see how we go. This is Part One, with a lovely surprise in the form of someone we haven't met yet, but heard mention of. Enjoy!

On the morning of the 18th, Cas was rudely woken up by the chilled sunshine pouring in from his window. The light burned his eyes, and he sat and glared at the betraying curtains. It was his fault for not closing them last night, but he won’t acknowledge that. At least not until after his coffee.

He turned to the space in his bed, and his heart lurched when he saw Dean wasn’t there next to him. Did he dream Dean in bed with him last night? He stretched into the pillow and could smell Dean in his sheets. No, he definitely had Dean sleeping next to him last night. He could distinctly remember him gently kissing his forehead before he fell asleep. He tilted his head and listened. Cas could hear whistling from outside his closed bedroom door and smiled. Dean couldn’t whistle very well, but he tried his hardest.

Cas pulled himself out of bed, forgetting to brace himself from the cool air outside his blankets. He hissed, rushing to wrap his dressing gown around himself tightly. As he opened his bedroom door, he was greeted by the scent of pancakes, maple syrup and cooked bacon. He followed his nose to the kitchen, where Dean was dancing with a spatula in hand, rocking out to Lady Gaga and BLACKPINK. A loud meow from between Cas’ ankles startled Dean, and he spun around, wielding the spatula as a weapon.

“Jesus Christ, Cas,” Dean held a hand to his chest.

“Good morning, Dean,”

“You should go back to bed, honey. I was gonna make you breakfast in bed,” He gestured to two plates filled with bacon pancakes.

“We can eat out here. Thank you for cooking,” Cas approached his boyfriend and pressed sleepy kisses on Dean’s cheek.

“Happy twenty-fifth birthday, Castiel,” Dean put the spatula down and wrapped his arms around Cas, pulling him into an all-consuming kiss. When they broke apart, he grinned. “I’ll get you some coffee. You go sit,”

“Yes, sir,” Cas gave him a snarky salute, and Dean rolled his eyes. He patted Cas’ ass before making his way to the coffee machine. Meg followed Dean, no doubt hoping he was still cooking bacon and was going to drop some scraps on the ground. She rubbed her head against his leg, and Dean grinned.

“You are such a needy little thing when there’s food, aren’t you?” Cas smirked as he watched Dean lean down to give her a small head scratch. Cas waited until Dean had brought their mugs of coffee over before he tucked in. “Like it?” Dean asked just as Cas took a huge mouthful. He couldn’t answer, so he nodded enthusiastically. Dean laughed, his eyes sparkling. “Good. You deserve it, sweetheart.”

They ate in comfortable near-silence, with only the sounds of their cutlery touching their plates, and the music playing softly in the background. Cas smiled as he listened to Bon Iver telling his love he told them to be patient and kind. He caught Dean staring at him, so he raised an eyebrow.

“What? Have I got something on my face?” He went to wipe away a traitorous crumb, but there was nothing. Dean shook his head.

“Has anyone told you how adorable you look when you’ve rolled out of bed?”

“Aw, Dean,” Cas smirked, but he could felt his face burning at the sincerity in his tone. “You sap.”

“Can’t help it,” He shrugged, a wide grin on his face. “You’re all sleepy and cute. Anyway,” He took a sip of his coffee. “Would you like your present now, or later on?”

“Do you want to give it to me now?” Cas smirked, and Dean gave him a salacious wink.

“Always,” They chuckled. “But I think it’d probably be best if you unwrap it now, so you can have some time with it.” He got up, taking their empty plates to the sink. When he returned, he had a large, heavy-looking box wrapped up neatly with a bright green bow. Cas thanked Dean as he took the box out of his hands. Meg slunk over, just as curious as Cas was. “I think Meg wants the box once you’re done with it,”

“That’s why you put it in a box, didn’t you?”

“I’ll never tell,” He winked. Cas freed the envelope and unwrapped it. It was a simple card, with a gold thread linking two hands together, and the words ‘One single thread of gold tied me to you’. Cas smiled fondly at the lyrical reference to Taylor Swift. Inside the card, Dean had written ‘Happy 25th birthday Cas. I’m so happy I found you. You are such a wondrous beginning, and I hope you’ll continue to be my beautiful future. Love, Dean.’ Cas felt emotion welling in his chest, and he got up to pull Dean in for a hug.

“Thank you, Dean.”

“You haven’t even opened the present yet, you numpty,” But Dean was grinning like a kid at Christmas. Cas returned to the box, pulled the ribbon undone, and lifted the lid.

“Dean...” Cas felt his smile try to break his face as he stared at the contents of the box. It was a blue portable typewriter. He pulled it out, placing the box on the ground. Meg chirped happily as she leapt into the empty box.

“You like it? I saw it in the shop on the corner probably about two weeks ago now, and I knew it’d be perfect for you. Took a bit to get it into working order, but it’s completely up-to-date. As up to date as a typewriter from the 1950s can be, I suppose,” Dean scratched the back of his neck, something he only did when he was nervous. Cas barrelled into him, covering his freckles in kisses. “I’ll take that as a yes, then,” He beamed at Cas.

“I love it! Thank you so much. I’ve been wanting a typewriter for years, how’d you know?” Cas kissed him hard, and Dean smirked.

“Stab in the dark,” He gave Cas a chaste kiss. “I’m glad you like it.”

“Today is already a wonderful day, and it’s barely started yet.”

“Can’t wait for the party tonight,” Dean caressed Cas’ face, and Cas’ smile fell slightly. “What’s wrong, love?”

“I’m...I’m excited for my party too. I just...I’m sad Inias can’t be there tonight,” Inias had called last week to tell Cas his work couldn’t afford to let him take the time off. He understood it. A paramedic’s job never really stops. But he still had hoped to see his best friend again. He wanted to introduce Dean to Inias. Cas honestly thinks they’d get along well. Dean gave Cas a sad smile and squeezed his shoulder.

“I know.” He kissed Cas’ forehead, and together they swayed to the sound of Harry Styles trying to reconnect with a love he knows is long gone. As the ballad ended, Dean gave Cas a sly smile. “I’ve got another present for you,”

“Oh?”

“It’s at my apartment, though. So if you wanted to get dressed...” Cas cocked an eyebrow.

“That sounds suspiciously like a proposition, Winchester. Are you trying to seduce me?” Dean threw back his head and laughed.

“Normally, yes. But this time, I’m serious. There really is another present for you waiting in my apartment,” He gestured to Cas’ bedroom. “Tell me when you’re ready,”

Cas raced to his room and threw on jeans and an old t-shirt. As he came back out, Dean took Cas’ hand and together they made the short trip to the other apartment.

As soon as they approached Dean’s front door, Cas noticed music playing. He recognised the Jonas Brothers’ newer song “Sucker” playing through the crack in the door and gave Dean a confused stare. Dean grinned, and opened the front door, gesturing for Cas to go first. He crossed the threshold, wandering into the lounge room where the music was emanating from. A man was lounging on Dean’s couch, holding a bunch of balloons and a present with the words ‘CAS’ in big letters written all over it. Cas widened his eyes as he recognised the stranger.

“Inias?!”

“Hi Castiel,” Inias gave the two men a small smile. Cas rushed over to his friend and gave him a tight hug.

“I thought you couldn’t get the time off!”

“Well, thanks to your boyfriend, I was able to get a full week off,” He turned his attention to Dean, flashing him a nervous smile. Cas pulled back and glanced at Dean.

“How’d you manage that?”

“Well,” He shrugged. “I know people in Sioux Falls,”

“And he contacted me, asking if there was any way he could help get me here for you,” Inias tilted his head, a snarky grin on his face. “You missed me,”

“Of course, you idiot,” Cas pushed Inias’ arm playfully. “Always.” Inias dropped his gaze to the floor, hiding his wide smile.

“I’ve got to head out for a bit, guys,” Dean leaned up against the doorframe, happy to see Cas’ joyful expression. It faltered a little as what Dean said sunk in. “Promise I’ll be back. I told Gabriel, Michael and Lucifer I’d help them set up the venue for tonight. But you two should take some time to hang out, catch up. You can stay here if you want,” He took down the spare key from on the top of the doorframe and passed it to Cas. “But if you want to go somewhere else, don’t forget to lock up on your way out. I’ll probably be back in an hour or two.”

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas gave him a warm hug, and Dean pressed a gentle kiss on Cas’ cheek. “I’ll return the key.”

“Nah, keep it,” Cas caught the implication of Dean’s words, and his heart fluttered. “I’ll be home soon, love. Good to see you, Inias.” Dean gave Inias a firm handshake and then he was gone. Yet the fluttering didn’t go away with him.

“Wow,” Inias let out a laugh. Cas turned back to him, raising an eyebrow. “You could probably ask that man to kill someone for you, and I have no doubt he would do it, no questions asked.”

“He’s just...”

“Hopelessly in love with you? Yeah, I can tell,” He smirked, taking a seat on the couch. “Bought you a present,”

“You didn’t have to, Inias,” But Inias just rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, and you didn’t have to hug me when you saw me, but you wanted to, so you did, right?” He shrugged. “Same concept. Saw it, wanted to buy it for you, so I bought it for you.” Cas approached the couch where the present sat. It was a medium-sized, unassuming box. Cas unwrapped the box to reveal an electric heated throw blanket, cocooning a thick book.

“Don Quixote?” Cas smiled.

“Well, yeah. I felt bad about losing your copy of it, so I figured a new one would be in order,”

“That wasn’t your fault, Inias,” Cas pulled the book out, smiled at the shiny new hardback. “I should’ve grabbed it from Ishim before we broke up. I knew he wasn’t going to read it,”

“Well, sure, but I was the one who told you to...”

“And if you hadn’t, I would probably be dead.” Cas didn’t mean for his voice to sound so harsh, so he softened his features, and pulled out the blanket. “I’m sorry. Thank you for this. I love them.” Inias remained quiet, staring hard at him. Cas sighed, and Inias squeezed Cas’ shoulder.

“You don’t need to apologise, Cas. I was taking the blame for something that wasn’t my fault, you’re right,” They sat in silence for a beat. “How are you, anyway? How’s your relationship going with Dean?”

“What has Dean told you?”

“Only that he wants to make sure you’re happy and that you feel safe,” Inias smiled. “He’s a good one, Cas. Hold onto him.” Another pause. “Does he treat you right?”

“He’s...” Cas took in a deep breath, fighting to keep the beaming smile from washing over his face. “He’s amazing, Inias. Dean makes me feel so comfortable, and he always goes at my pace. Honestly, I never thought anybody could be so...understanding. Even when we first hung out, he was pushing for me to do what I want, and he’s always curious about my thoughts and feelings. He’s taking my book recommendations to heart, and he’s checking out my favourite music,” He could feel himself blush as he spoke, but it could’ve been his imagination. “When we kiss, it’s like he just...silences all the loud noises in my head.” Inias grinned.

“My God, man. You love him just as much as he loves you,”

“What?” Cas blinked. Inias laughed.

“You should’ve heard him when I asked him about how he feels with you,” Inias shook his head. “Pretty much the same response.” Cas was certain he was blushing now. “I’m happy for you, Castiel. You deserve this, you both do.”


	11. Strawberries and Cigarettes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for waiting for an update! I truly hope you guys are enjoying this story as much as I enjoy writing it. I took a little time to think over how I want to end this story, and I let my decision hang around for a bit before I dove back into it. I really cannot wait to get to the end of this story, it's amazing how much this little fanfic I started writing just for myself at the start of the year has become this all-consuming *thing* that means so much to me.

The set-up for the party didn’t take as long as Dean thought it would. When he pulled up with the lanterns in the backseat of his car, Gabriel and Michael were standing outside, butting out the last of their cigarettes. Dean jumped out, a bright grin on his face.

“Don’t tell me I’ve missed most of the preparations,” He opened up the backseat door, wrangling as many delicate lanterns into his arms without the fear of dropping them.

“Pretty much, Winchester. Took you way too long,” Gabriel chuckled as he took some lanterns off Dean’s hands. “What were you doing? Wait,” He shook his head. “I don’t want to know if you were giving my baby brother birthday sex, disgusting,” All three of the men laughed as they entered the establishment.

“I was killing time waiting for Inias to show up,” They placed the battery-powered lanterns gently onto individual tables. Lucifer gave Dean a wave from over near the bar, where he was talking with Crowley. Dean returned the wave before continuing the set-up.

“Holy shit, how’d you swing that? Last I heard, his hard-ass of a boss wasn’t going to let him go for anything,” Michael widened his eyes.

“It’s a small world,” Dean shrugged. “His boss, Bobby, is an old family friend of mine. Was able to pull a few strings,” He smiled. “Of course, it means we’ll have to travel to Sioux Falls sometime soon. I’ve gotta introduce Bobby to Cas. He wants to see what all the fuss is about,”

“Wow,” Michael and Gabriel shared a look.

“What?”

“Nothing,” They avoided Dean, small smiles on their faces. Dean frowned but didn’t push it. Once all of the lanterns were positioned correctly, he glanced around and took in the space properly. The stage was dressed for space for a DJ, and Dean didn’t miss the karaoke set up next to the turntables. He huffed out a quiet laugh as he imagined Cas stumbling awkwardly through the verse of a Taylor Swift song. The fairy lights hanging from the ceiling glistened, not unlike the night sky. There was space for everybody to get up and dance, and he could see the beginnings of a buffet set-up near where Lucifer and Crowley were talking. Dean beamed. Tonight was going to be brilliant, everything Castiel deserves.

**********

Castiel didn’t know what to expect when he walked into Howl At The Moon, arm in arm with Dean and Inias, but it blew what small expectations he had out of the water. The large bay windows were opened to let the balmy too-warm autumn air flow through the building. Fairy lights glistened and swayed slightly on the ceiling, and the paper lanterns on the tables were full of bright, colourful patterns. People were circling everywhere, drinks and hors d’oeuvres in hand. 

“If you were to split open my mind,” Cas murmured as he looked on the walls, where pages and pages from old books were hanging. He glanced down, sifting his feet through the small piles of glitter on the wooden floorboards, and grinned. “This is exactly what it would look like.”

“I’m glad you like it, sweetheart,” Dean pressed his lips close to Cas’ ear, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

“Here he is, the birthday boy!” Gabriel called over from the microphone, attracting the attention of the crowd towards the entrance door Cas came through, and they all let out loud applause and cheers of ‘Happy birthday Castiel!’. Inias loosened his link in Cas’ arm, clapping his hand on his shoulder.

“I’m gonna get you a drink, Cas,” He ruffled Cas’ hair before flitting off towards the bar. Cas smiled as people started to approach him. Family members he hadn’t seen in years started trying to pull him away from Dean, but Cas held onto Dean’s hand tightly, pulling him along for the ride.

“Castiel!” Cas felt warm arms wrap around his waist, and he turned to see Anna grinning at him.

“Anna!” Cas let go of Dean’s hand to scoop his sister up and twirl her around, making her flaming red hair fan out around them, both of them laughing. “So good to see you!” Cas put her down, beaming.

“Likewise. Is this the famous Dean Winchester I’ve been hearing so much about?” Anna gave Dean a bright grin, and Dean gave her a winning smile.

“And I take it this is the baby sister you’ve done nothing but sing praises for, Cas? He’s so proud of you, by the way,” He winked, and Anna blushed. Cas felt a serene type of happiness wash over his as he watched Dean win over his sister as they discussed Cas. He bopped his head in time to the beat of the music, which Cas recognised as Troye Sivan’s dance song ‘My My My!’. He felt a gentle tap on his elbow and turned to see Inias trying his best to hold three cups of alcohol.

“You gonna have to take one quick, Cas, otherwise...” Cas grabbed the cup Inias barely had a hold on and grinned at Inias’ overdramatic sigh of relief. “Saved it,” He grinned, passing Dean the other cup. “So, I see there’s a karaoke set-up over there,” He nudged Cas. “You know you wanna, buddy,” Cas sighed as he took a long drink from his cup.

“I’m not going alone though,” Cas gave Dean an unassuming smile, and Dean barked out a laugh.

“What Taylor Swift song did you want to sing, love?”

“How’d you know it was going to be Taylor Swift?”

“ _Honey_ ,” Dean and Inias spoke in unison, giving him a disbelieving look. Anna giggled, and Cas rolled his eyes.

“Rude,” He muttered, before considering it. “What about a deep cut? Pop, of course, because I don’t want to drive people away with her country stuff,”

“Not straight away,” Inias murmured, and Dean made an agreeing noise.

“You two suck,” Cas huffed out.

“Ah,” Inias wiggled his eyebrows. “But you love us. Off you go, you’ll crush it.”

“I know which one to do, you just be prepared to sing with me,” Dean winked, looping his arm with Cas as they made their way to the stage. Cas felt nervous as he saw the crowd peering at him curiously, but then he made eye contact with Dean, and the worry faded away. At that moment, he knew. He was utterly, head-over-heels in love, and Dean deserved to know it. The opening electro beat of Taylor Swift’s ‘I Wish You Would’ started playing, and Cas took hold of the microphone. He made a promise to himself as Dean joined in with the singing― he was going to tell Dean how he felt. Tonight.

**********

Dean had given Inias the keys to his apartment to crash for the night. He didn’t think it was fair to make the man sleep on Cas’ couch when there was a perfectly empty bed available a mere stone's throw away. Dean didn’t plan on leaving Cas’ side tonight, so it made sense. Inias gave Dean a knowing look as he took the keys off Dean, though, which piqued Dean’s interest.

“What’s that look for, Nias?”

“Nothing,” He kept the same knowing look on his face though. “Just...I know you’ll treat him right,” Dean could see a flare of anger in Inias’ gaze, and he knew who Inias was thinking of.

“Of course. I love-“ He stopped himself, amazed at how casually he nearly admitted it. His surprise must’ve been all over his face because Inias laughed as he clapped his hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“Don’t need to tell me that, Dean. But you should tell Cas. I think he’ll have the same response.” He squeezed Dean’s shoulder before walking off.

Dean exhaled as he glanced at the slightly ajar door leading to Cas’ apartment. He could hear music playing from inside the apartment, and smiled as he recognised Jack’s Mannequin singing about the world burning dark blue. Dean gravitated towards Cas’ bedroom quietly, and he wrapped his arms around the man’s waist. Cas let out a low noise as Dean pressed his lips into the side of his neck, decorating his skin in little kisses.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas sighed, tilting his head slightly to give Dean more skin to colour with his lips. Dean obliged, chasing Cas’ skin with the warmth of his breath. “I...ahem...” He cleared his throat, pulling up a notebook from his bedside table. “I wrote you a poem after I told you about my ex...and I...”

“Can I read it, sweetheart?” Dean kept his voice low and pressed his lips to Cas’ earlobe. He was rewarded with a full-body shiver, and Dean filed that away for future use. Cas didn’t say anything, just passed the notebook to Dean’s wanting hands. He smiled as he took a step away from Cas to fully focus on the words written.

_My love bathed me in_

_petals and sugar_

_and I thought he was_

_soft, tender, sweet._

_I didn’t notice the petals_

_were violet bruises_

_and the sugar faded into_

_salt on my scars._

_Through his sharp thorns_

_and barbed wire, I_

_crawled away from him,_

_crashed into concrete._

_I am but a fallen angel,_

_ashen wings broken,_

_then I found you, who_

_made my wings stars._

_I love you, Dean Winchester._

“Dean?” Cas’ voice was nervous, and Dean looked up to see Cas biting his lip. “I’m sorry if it’s way too soon, and I know that you admitted you loved me when you were drunk, but you were _drunk_ so I get it if it was just an overblown emotion, but...” He took in a deep breath. “I’m not going to hide from my feelings any longer. I am in love with you. I don’t need to hear you say it back, because like I said, it could be too soon for-“

“I love you too,” The words came out broken, and Cas didn’t hear them over the music.

“Sorry?” Cas turned the music down, effectively silencing Ariana Grande and her singing about not seeing a relationship for what it truly is. Dean cleared his throat and felt a single tear fall down his face as he tried again.

“I love you too,” He approached Cas slowly, bringing his hand to caress Cas’ cheek. Cas leaned into the touch, closing his eyes and murmuring. When he opened his eyes, Dean could see them shining with barely-concealed tears. “Thank you for the poem. It’s beautiful,” Dean traced his thumb down Cas’ jaw. “Just like you.” He pulled Cas in for a slow kiss, and he felt Cas tremble slightly against his chest. “Cas,” Dean breathed as Cas brought his arms around Dean’s neck.

“Dean,” The trembling stopped, and a firm look of determination set in his face. “Please. Please,” He murmured against Dean’s lips. Dean ran his fingers through Cas’ permanently messy hair.

“Tell me what you want, my love.” He nipped Cas’ lips, and Cas let out a heavy breath of mild surprise.

"You. I want you, Dean." He pulled Dean towards his bed, and they crashed onto the mattress together.


	12. Off My Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two more chapters to go after this one! Keen to finish this one up, but also feeling slightly sad to see it ending. Not unlike my feelings about the show itself finishing.
> 
> I initially thought about actually writing out the sex scene between Dean and Cas, but I figured, it's implied and...well, it's private between them. But come on, everybody knows ;)

Cas’ dreams were of nothing but sweet kisses and soft touches. Every time he thought Dean was going to disappear, he came back to press their bodies together. Cas had never dreamt like this before, and when he did finally wake at six o’clock in the morning, his heart soared at the sight of Dean, naked and asleep on Cas’ bare chest. He absently ran his fingers through Dean’s short hair.

“Morning,” Dean mumbled into Cas’ chest, pressing sleepy kisses down his sternum.

“Morning,” He whispered, voice croaking out. He felt more than saw Dean’s smile.

“Big night?” Dean brought himself up so he was gazing down at Cas.

“Yeah, this one guy was really riding my ass all night...”

“Oh really?” Dean smirked. “As I recall, you really liked me riding your ass,”

“We could go again, if you’re up for it, Winchester,” Cas danced his hands over Dean’s hips, and Dean chuckled.

“That is true, love, but you don’t want to miss your tattoo appointment today,”

“It’s okay, I know the owner of the shop, he won’t mind,”

“Oh no, I assure you, he will,” Dean pressed a smiling kiss to Cas’ cheek. “Come on, I’ll make you a big breakfast with some orange juice. The only problem is, you can’t have any coffee,” Cas pouted. “I promise I’ll buy you a big mocha from Perdition Fiction once we’re done, okay?”

“Fine,”

“Hey,” Dean caught Cas’ chin, and he grinned. “I love you,”

“Love you too.” Cas tried to hold onto his pouting face, but he couldn’t help the smile on his face. He hadn’t felt so happy and carefree in _years_ , and it had nearly everything to do with the man in front of him.

**********

Dean whistled as he unlocked the door to the tattoo shop. Of course, nobody was in yet. The clock above the front desk ticked over to eight in the morning. He wasn’t going to force his brother and best friend to come to work early after a night like last night. They’d be around later, hopefully by the time Dean’s done with the outline of Cas’ tattoo.

“Remind me again why I agreed to an early session?” Cas grumbled as he closed the door behind him, being sure to turn the lock.

“Because your tattoo artist is sexy as fuck and might blow you when you’re done if you ask him nicely?” Dean shrugged, spinning his keyring on his finger. He winked at Cas’ stunned face before gesturing towards the private room. “Why don’t you go ahead and take your shirt off and get comfortable in the back room? I’ll set up your playlist to play over the speakers,”

“I didn’t think I’d need my shirt off for a forearm tattoo,”

“Well, you don’t, but I’d appreciate it all the same,” Dean smirked. Cas rolled his eyes before making his way into the back room. Dean opened up the playlist, and pressed ‘shuffle’. He started bopping his head along to Conan Gray’s song about a maniacal ex. Once Dean was content with the etching he’d copied onto the transfer paper, he wandered into the room and grinned at the sight of Castiel, shirtless and waiting with his arm on the table. “Aw, love, you listened to me,”

“It’d be pretty stupid to not listen to the guy who’s going to literally pierce my skin a thousand times for the sake of art,” Cas shrugged his shoulders. Dean took his time to soak up the sight of Cas’ bare chest, noting the hickeys lightly decorating his neck. “Penny for your thoughts?”

“You _are_ art, Castiel,” Dean placed his itching down carefully on the clean table before pulling some black latex gloves on. He sat down on his little wheelie chair, and gently placed the paper over Cas’ left forearm, being sure to have the thin calamus cover his scar. “Are you happy with the placement?” He ran his thumb delicately over the man’s wrist. Cas nodded. “You okay?”

“A little nervous,”

“That’s normal, especially for your first. Before you know it, you’ll be itching for another one,” Dean poured the solution to drench the paper onto Cas’ skin, and chuckled as Cas made a face at the cold liquid on his skin. “Necessary evil, I’m afraid. I’m good without lines, but not that good,” He let the paper sit for a bit before peeling it off. “Final check before I get the gun. You happy with it? Obviously, the shading isn’t there, I’ll do that last. You prepared to sit here for at least six hours?”

“Dean, as long as I’m with you, I don’t mind if I have to sit here forever.”

He didn’t know how to respond to the sincerity in his boyfriend’s words and felt blush colour his cheeks as he made sure his gun was up and running. He knew he’d have to keep Cas talking as he started actually tattooing him, so he cleared his throat.

“So, tell me about Inias. He’s given me some funny stories about the two of you, but I wanna hear them from you. I think he mentioned something about a literature teacher he was obsessed with,”

“Oh, you mean Mr Porter? Yeah, Inias was completely _gone_ on that man,” He hissed at the end of his words as the needle pierced the skin.

“Keep talking, love. Tell me about him.” Dean smiled as Cas continued to talk about his high school experiences with Inias. Together they tapped their feet to the music, and Cas listened as Dean sang softly along to Taylor Swift singing about a person’s faithless love being the only hoax worth believing in.

“Hey, Dean?” Cas sighed as Dean started the curves of the feather.

“Yeah?”

“Can you tell me something distracting? Anything. Just...” Cas bit his lip as Dean continued to draw the curve.

“Sure. Uh...” He considered for a beat. “Did I tell you about the time Sam and I convinced everybody in our high school that the principal was a vampire, and the janitor was a werewolf?” Off Dean went, talking about all the diabolical pranks Dean roped his little brother into while at high school. Cas was chuckling in no time.

“Honestly, I’m surprised I never ran into you before the coffee shop,” Cas murmured, bopping his head slightly to the sounds of Katy Perry stating she won’t change until she’s covered in daisies.

“I suppose, but timing’s a funny thing,” Dean knocked his knee playfully against Cas’.

“I found you right when I needed you most,” He smiled. Dean tidied up the last few lines of the outline before switching off the gun and placing it down.

“That’s the outline done, love,” He smiled as he squeezed Cas’ knee. “How are you feeling?”

“Wait, the outline’s done? But it’s only been half an hour...”

“Cas,” Dean smirked. “You’ve been sitting here for three hours. We’ve gone straight through your playlist once already.”

“What.” Cas glanced at the tattoo, where the full outline was there in small and thick lines. He smiled at the beginnings of the art on his skin. Dean watched Cas about to say something more, but there was a tentative knock at the door.

“Yeah?” Dean called over his shoulder, biting back a laugh as Cas scrambled to pull his t-shirt back on.

“Uh, Dean? Just letting you know Ishim’s at the door, and he’s asking for you again. Did you want me to just call the police?” Sam spoke nervously. Dean and Cas froze at the name, and Dean felt all happiness drop from his face. Cas gave him a very small shake of his head, his eyes wide and terrified.

“Thanks for the heads-up, Sammy.” Dean hesitated, keeping his eyes firmly on Cas. “I’ll be out in a second, but maybe keep your phone ready just in case.”

“Alright.” He heard his moose of a brother walk away, and let out a heavy breath as he pulled off his latex gloves.

“Dean, be careful,” Cas spoke lowly, and Dean made a noise of agreeance.

“I know, Cas. I promise I won’t do anything stupid. But I should see what he wants. Do you want to stay here?” He nodded, and Dean cupped his face in both his hands. He kissed Cas in what he hoped was a reassuring gesture. They both sighed as they parted, and Dean exited the room, closing the door behind him.

He had to try not to laugh at the irony of the song playing as he approached the front desk. The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus’ song ‘Face Down’. Fitting.

“Good morning, Ishim,” Dean can be professional, even if the prick punched him in the face. Ishim was wearing a tight-fitting t-shirt and loose jeans, arms crossed to push his biceps out. Dean bit into his cheeks to refrain from tearing him down about his obvious attempt to intimidate him.

“Dean, I honestly didn’t think you’d come out of your hiding space,” Ishim’s tone was even more irritating to Dean, the cynicism dripping from his lips like a vat of acid.

“Sorry, man, was with a customer. But what can I do for you?”

“Was wondering if you wanted to go out for a cup of coffee? We could chat about mutual friends of ours,”

“What are you implying?” Dean kept his face expressionless.

“I’m saying, we could both discuss our darling Castiel,” He grinned wolfishly.

“What on earth makes you think I would want to go anywhere with you?”

“Oh, come on, pretty boy. You and I both know we’ve got this little spark between us,” Ishim had the _gall_ to _wink_ at him. Dean felt his stomach turn.

“Ishim,” He exhaled slowly, pinching the bridge of his nose, feeling his restraint starting to break. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave. I’m sorry, but you’re making my co-workers and me uncomfortable.” Ishim scoffed.

“Not even one little punch? Tit for tat, and all that,” He cackled.

“No. See, I’m not the type of worker who would resort to violence, especially not in a place of business,” Dean pasted on his fakest customer service grin. “I’m better than you.” He felt a sinister type of glee thrum through him at the sight of Ishim’s casual smirk washed away into something more twisted.

“Don’t say I never gave you a chance to impress me, Winchester. The next time I see you, I won’t be so civil.” With that, Ishim left, slamming the front door behind him.

“Jesus Christ,” Charlie breathed.

“That’s putting it mildly,” Dean kept his eye on Ishim’s retreating figure, before letting out a heavy sigh. Sam and Charlie gave Dean worried looks, but Dean shrugged them off. He went back to his boyfriend, soothing Cas with positive words and sweet smiles. Still, he couldn’t shake the mild fear of Ishim’s threat. He mentioned it to Cas, who shook his head.

“Don’t take it to heart. Ishim is usually all talk, no bite. Besides, if he comes back, all you have to do is report him, and he won’t bother you. We could look at doing that together if you want,” Cas squeezed Dean’s hand.

“Alright. Might take you up on that. Now,” He pulled on new latex gloves. “Ready for the shading?”


	13. Blood In The Cut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Nearly at the end. Just this chapter, and then the final chapter. It's more of an epilogue than anything else. Thank you so much for sticking this out with me. This story means so much to me, my first fan-fic.
> 
> You know I love you, right?  
> Remember that. Please.

The next day, Dean made sure Cas didn’t do anything that might’ve risked him messing up the tattoo. He even told him he needed to keep an eye on it while Cas was showering that night, but Cas saw straight through him.

“You’re using the tattoo as an excuse. Why don’t you tell me why you want to join me?” He raised an eyebrow, and Dean smirked.

“Because I can’t get enough of you?”

“Try again,”

“Because I wanna keep you company?”

“ _Dean_ ,”

“Alright, fine. Because I wanna blow you.”

“There we go.”

“So...can I?”

“No,”

“Aw,”

“See, I would’ve said ‘yes’, if you had told me what you wanted from the start,” Cas crossed his arms.

“Duly noted,” Dean gave him a small pout before he followed Cas into the shower. “So, what did you want to do tonight? It’s meant to rain,”

“Sounds like you’ve already got something in mind,” Cas started pulling off his clothes, smiling as Dean copied him.

“Well, I _was_ planning on taking you sightseeing. I wanted to show you the best view in Kansas,” Dean waggled his eyebrows.

“Don’t tell me it’s your dick,”

“...I wanted to show you the _second-best_ view in Kansas,”

“You’re unbelievable, Winchester,”

“Heh.” Dean gave Cas a bright smile as they both moved under the warm spray of water. “But since the rain has ruined my plans, I was thinking we could build a fort, watch some movies?”

“You wanna make a fort with me?”

“Yeah,” Dean pressed a kiss to Cas’ forehead. “We can hang up all the blankets, order takeout, and just watch a whole bunch of movies. I know for a fact you _need_ to watch Tombstone with me, and I want to watch Star Wars with you,”

“I’ve seen Star Wars, Dean,”

“Yes, but you haven’t watched them with me. It’ll change your life, I swear. Do you have Disney Plus?” The rain outside started pounding on Cas’ roof, splattering the bathroom window in water. Dean made a hesitant face. “Because otherwise, I have to go over and grab the DVD’s from my apartment,”

“What’s ‘Disney Plus’?” Dean gave Cas a warm smile at his use of finger quotations, covered in suds.

“Alright, that settles it, I’m gonna run over to mine and grab the DVDs after this. Hopefully, I won't disturb Inias,” The silence between them was peaceful, warm, but Dean couldn’t shake the slight hesitation in his heart. “Speaking of Inias,”

“Yes?” Cas brought his head under the water to wash out the shampoo in his hair. Dean watched the white suds cascade off his lover’s shoulders, biting his lip. “Dean?”

“Did you two ever...I mean, I know you’re best friends and all, but...”

“Are you asking if Inias and I ever dated?” Cas slicked his washed hair back so it was out of his face.

“Well, I...I just...you two seem close, and I’m sorry if I’m...”

“It’s okay, Dean. We tried, once, back when we were fourteen, I think, so it barely counts,”

“Really?”

“Really,” Cas shrugged. “We dated for about a month before we realised we work better as friends. He was my first kiss, and that’s about it. I’ll always love him, but in the years that followed, he’s become more of a brother to me than anything else. I don’t love him the way I love _you_.” Cas rested his water-warm hands on Dean’s shoulders. “This isn’t going to be a problem for you, is it?”

“What?” Dean blinked. How could Cas even _think_ ―oh. Of course. This isn’t the first time Cas told someone about his relationship with Inias. “It was a problem for Ishim, wasn’t it?”

“That’s putting it mildly. It was part of the reason I didn’t see Inias all that often when I was dating Ishim,”

“Castiel,” His full name almost felt foreign on his tongue, and it surprised both men to hear it fall from Dean’s lips. “My love is not volatile.” He pressed a lingering kiss to Cas’ forehead, cracking a small smile.

“Thank you, Dean.” The words were soft; Dean nearly missed them under the drowning sound of the shower and the rain on the roof. But he caught it.

**********

Cas stretched languidly on the mattress they had carried into the lounge room. Dean had done a great job of setting up the blankets around the TV, pulling all of the pillows from Cas’ apartment onto the mattress to create something like a nest of soft velvet and down feather. Cas had opened up the loungeroom window to let the smell of the rain waft into the room. He scrolled through his phone, waiting for Dean to return with his beloved Star Wars DVD’s. A text message from Inias diverted his attention.

‘Dear God, your boyfriend is so in love with you, it makes me _sick_. Have fun in your sex nest, you love-birds.’ It made Cas giggle, startling Meg from her nap on Cas’ legs. She shot him a disapproving glare before padding a few steps off of Cas and curling up on a pillow.

There was a sound of loud yelling coming from the street below, and a loud clatter of metal falling onto the concrete made Cas’ heart leap. Silence. Cas strained his ears, his mind whirring. That noise came from the alley between his place and Dean’s. Maybe Dean tripped and stumbled? He pulled himself out of the nest of pillows, putting on Dean’s old boots he’d left behind in Cas’ apartment weeks ago.

He trudged down his steps and braced himself for the weather outside before opening the door. His smile washed off with the rain on his face at the sight of Dean cowering near his door, a knife lodged in his ribs.

The look on Dean’s face terrified him. He’d never seen Dean look so _scared_. All the colour had drained from his cheeks, and his eyes, usually so vibrant and alive, looked shaded and haunted. Cas didn’t hear Inias from off the side, but he vaguely recognised his name as he approached his boyfriend. Dean's face sought Cas', and he grinned, despite himself. Cas gripped Dean’s face, kneeling in the pool of rainwater and blood... _Dean’s_ blood.

“Sweetheart, go back inside. You’ll catch a cold,” Dean rasped out, leaning into Cas’ hands. He had a sad look in his dimming eyes.

“What,” Cas huffed out a hysterical laugh. “Dean Winchester, you _idiot_ ,” He was rewarded with a broken smile, and Cas tried his hardest to kiss it away. “I’m not leaving you. What happened?”

“Ishim.” He jerked his head towards the other side of the alley, but Cas refused to take his eyes off Dean. “Managed to knock him out, but he...he...” A strangled bubble of pain slipped from his throat.

“Shh...shh...it’s okay. You’ll be okay,” Cas ran his hand through Dean’s sopping wet hair, pressing his face into the other man’s neck, pointedly ignoring how slow Dean’s breathing was becoming, how frozen his body was becoming. “I’m right here. I’ll never leave you. I love you. I’ve got you, you’re okay, you’re okay...”


	14. Die For Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, this story is DONE!
> 
> Thank you so much, everybody, for taking the time to read and enjoy this story. Please let me know what you think in the comments. I might end up going back to this and extending the story a little, but for now, I'm going to leave it here. I've got my other major story 'The Hope of It All' to work through, and of course, as soon as I decided I'm not going to write another massive fanfic until I finish the ones I've already got going, another idea crops up. You're going to be hearing from me so much, I bet you'll be sick of me! But I hope you stick around!
> 
> Thank you to palminopup for inspiring this fic. Like I've said, please go read 'Pen and Ink' if you have not already because it is a work of art in itself and I love it to death. Also, please check out the playlist I've made on Spotify for this story. It has all the songs referenced in the titles and throughout the story. Love you all.

Cas stared at his laptop, re-reading the email again. This was the fifth time he’d gone through the whole email, looking for some sign that this was a joke, a prank from his agent, and he was getting his hopes up. His manuscript for ‘Bathed in Petals and Sugar’ had been accepted by a publishing house. The story he spent over a year working on was finally going to see the light of day in public eyes, but there was still a part of him that felt fear. This story was so important to him, since most of it was true to his actual life, right down to the antagonist being sent to jail and the blood in the alleyway. The cold fear of that knife twisted into his lover’s body. The broken sobs that rebounded off the brick walls.

Meg called out from the kitchen, clearly searching for Cas to feed her. He rolled his eyes before exiting out of his emails and wrapping himself in his dressing gown. The new house didn’t do much in the way of holding onto warmth, but Cas had to do it. He had to leave that apartment. There were too many ghosts hanging around outside those two buildings. Inias secured a position with the hospital in their town, and he settled into Castiel’s old apartment, which excited Cas to no end. He wasn’t permanently saying goodbye to the place, at least. Gabriel was just glad the apartment was filled by someone they know and trust still. Really, it was a win on all fronts. It was good to have his best friend living in the same state as him again.

It had been over a month since that fateful night where everything came to a head. He still had nightmares of that night, but certain details shift. Instead of Inias there on the phone calling for help, he’s either alone with Dean’s body or he watches helplessly as Ishim comes to and yanks the knife out of Dean’s ribs to take Castiel. What startled him awake every time wasn’t the fact Ishim kills him in his dream, it’s the fact Cas _welcomes_ it.

“Hey there, baby,” He coos as he enters into the kitchen. Meg glares at him, meowing loudly again. Cas gave her head a gentle scratch, which set off loud purrs. “You can’t stay mad at me. Here,” He went to her food bowl and shook the dry food until it looked full again. Meg made a happy noise before digging right into the food. He chuckled. “Fearless hunter, hopeless consumer.” His phone started going off, and he didn’t check the Call-ID before answering it. “This is Cas.”

“Cassie is it true?!” Gabriel’s cheery voice sounded like it was double-dipped in an extra layer of sugar today. It made Cas wince. Why did he think it was a good idea to tell his brother about the manuscript before he’d had his third coffee? He was too tired for Gabe’s high energy.

“It is,” He wandered back into the study to grab his coffee cup. He really needed that third cup of coffee.

“Congratulations! So proud of you,” There was the tell-tale sound of the coffee machine whirring in the background. “Come around to Perdition Fiction. Coffees on me. Please? I miss you.”

“Gabe, I worked yesterday,”

“Well, _yeah_. But I haven’t had the time to catch up with you in ages,”

“So you want me to come to our place of work to do it?”

“It’s the only way. Also, did you not hear me when I said _coffee on me_? Free coffee, barista-made? You can’t resist that. Come on.” He could practically _hear_ his eyebrow waggle, and that made Cas shudder. Could have been from the freezing-cold kitchen though.

“I want you to know I’m only saying ‘yes’ because I know you made chai sugar cookies the size of my hand,”

“Roger, roger. I’ll see you soon, buddy.”

Cas hung up the phone and grabbed his house keys. Normally he’d take his tiny little Vespa to get to work, but every time he grabbed the keys, he could hear Dean’s voice in the back of his mind. ‘ _You’re riding on a Vespa? Holy shit, love. Break my heart into pieces, why don’t ya?_ ’ Besides, it was actually a nice-looking day outside. He needs the walk and fresh air.

Before walking out the front door, he hesitated. It may look sunny, but it _was_ the middle of October. He grabbed Dean’s old leather jacket. He’d stolen the jacket from Dean pretty soon after their first date. The collar was so tired from constantly being flicked up to protect the neck from the cold, and Castiel loved that. As he pulled the coat on, he relished in the lingering smell of Dean. It made his heart do a twist in his chest, but at least it wasn’t a painful twist anymore.

**********

The shop was empty, which genuinely surprised Castiel. Given the sun, and the freezing temperature, he thought there would have been more people coming in for a cup of joe on a Sunday morning. The sign was flipped over to ‘Closed’, which confused Cas even more. Oh well, he mused as he used his key to unlock the door. At least he won’t feel too bad about distracting his brother.

“Here he is, the pride of the Novak name!” Gabriel crowed from the coffee machine as Cas pulled the door shut. He heard a set of loud clapping coming from the tables and turned to see Sam, Jess, Charlie, Jo and Inias smiling and whooping at him. Cas widened his eyes, beaming at all of them. The table was full of a smorgasbord of cookies, cakes and sugary treats.

“Gabe...” His voice came out in a waver.

“Wasn’t my idea. Trust me,” He winked and gestured to the bookcases. Cas followed Gabriel’s line of sight and met those familiar sparkling green eyes.

“Hey sweetheart,” Dean gave Cas his most charming smile. Cas had a flashback of the day they met, and his whole body felt like it was glowing. He was so, _so_ nervous around Dean Winchester back then. Who would’ve known meeting Dean was going to change his world for the better? Cas barrelled into his boyfriend, burying his face into the other man’s chest to hide the tears welling up in his eyes.

Thank God the stab wound wasn’t very deep. Thank God Inias was there to monitor Dean’s vital signs until the ambulance came. Thank God Ishim was a terrible, terrible aim. Thank God Dean was a fighter. He couldn’t fathom what would’ve happened to Cas if Dean hadn’t pulled through. The hospital demanded Dean stay in for at least a few days so they could make sure the wound didn’t become infected, and Cas fought against the hospital staff to let him sleep next to Dean. He only won against them for the first night. The other nights, Cas barely got any rest. Until he visited Dean on the fourth day and Dean noticed the purple bags under his eyes. He yelled at Cas and asked Inias to sleep over until Dean could come home. That was nice, but it also led to Cas realised just how much he wanted out of that space. Inias expressed interest in moving to Kansas, and that sold Cas completely. He demanded Inias move into his apartment while he searched the real estate pages for a house. Dean was overjoyed when Cas suggested they move in together. Just like Cas.

“I’m so proud of you, darling.” Dean murmured into Cas’ hair before pressing a gentle kiss to his temple. He’d already told Cas how proud he was earlier that morning when they woke up in their bed together. And again when they were making breakfast together. And again just before he left to go to work. But Cas still relished in hearing it every time. “Also, I’ve got something for you.”

“Oh?” Cas broke away from the hug to give Dean a curious look. Dean grinned before digging into his jacket pocket. He revealed a cassette tape. “Dean, that’s archaic. I don’t even _own_ a tape player.”

“Yes, you do,”

“No, I think I would know...”

“I own a tape player, ergo, you own a tape player. Remember when I said everything that’s mine is yours when we moved in? Just accept the gift, Novak.” He waved the tape in Cas’ face. “You got me to listen to your music, widened my horizons, made me fall in love with Taylor _freakin_ ’ Swift, so I think it’s only fair I make you fall in love with my favourite band.” Cas took the tape out of Dean’s hands and read his scrawling penmanship. ‘ _Dean’s Top 13 Zep Traxx_ ’.

“Thank you.” Cas brought his lips to Dean’s, ignoring the disgusting noises being made from the table behind him. Everything was working out smoothly for the first time in a long time, and Castiel felt peace. The entire time in the cafe, Cas kept looking at his arm entwined with Dean’s, looking at their tattoos kissing. His feather dancing across Dean’s new tattoo on his right forearm. It was a Latin inscription, in a grand script, and Cas picked it out for him. He thought it was appropriate, since Kansas is their home, and given everything Dean had been through in his life. _Ad Astra per Aspera_.


End file.
